Friday, March 22, 2013

Day 1 of CTFD project

What is CTFD, you ask?  It stands for Calm the FUCK down.

I wake up at night with a racing heart and and binge on sugar during the day to soothe myself - enough.  I felt like I was going to die last night and this morning I am train wreck.  

Simple plan ~ 
1. No news. yup - call me ignorant but if there is something I really need to know, I'm sure a friend or loved one will let me know to take shelter. So - yes, no news anymore.

2. Eat only from the EarthGreen Juice, whole grains and maybe a fish 1x a week...everyone I know has gone vegan and they are vibrating with health and light - I'm coming back - running toward the light.

3. Two hours a day for me.  Yes- they can include, blogging, reading, thinking, walking, biking, running, petting the dogs or day dreaming about beautiful things.

4. No more working 12 hours in a row - I will take an hour off to sit in front of something pretty and find my joy - this probably means sitting at the ocean in my car for now until it gets warm enough to walk on the beach or go pet a horse

5. Stop being a sponge for people's urgency and negativity.  I'm rubber and you're glue.  That old saying "poor planning on your part does not constitute and emergency on my end"  - yup I'm gonna live that.

6. Spend 1 hour a day fluffing my space - that means making my home pretty - Clutter makes me nuts - and being all or nothing -if the house isn't organized I give up and let it be gross.

7. I'm terrified I'll gain all my weight back and I know that is abut 60% of the stress I'm feeling - so I shall know that by making good choices and taking care of myself I will cut out this stress.

8.  People pleasing is a fat girls disease.  When I sacrifice myself for another it never ends well and I will eat that pain - all day every day.

9.  As a lap band patient 2 years post op (april 6) - I'm still doing the mental work.      

Thats the new plan....I'll let you know how it goes.  I fell better already not watching the news this morning as I write.

So do you today and CTFD - I'm trying.  



  1. sounds like a fabulous plan! One I may need to adopt myself! Well except the Vegan...I can go more earth, but with meat :D I wish I had an ocean to look at I'll have to make do with the mountains...and your comment about pleasing everyone is a fat-girl right on.

  2. this is great! i think regardless of how long we have had the band, we are always learning!

  3. I don't think any of us will ever get through the mental stuff.

    So glad you have a plan, now just stick to it!

  4. I love your plan. I've been toying with something similar. I'm thinking I need to put it in writing and make a contract with myself. Thanks for putting yours out there; you've inspired me. Mine is on the way.

  5. I like your plan. I stay away from the news too. Im convinced the media is out to keep the world scared and depressed! You are gonna do great!

  6. That sounds like a great plan! I do the hour a day fluffing my keeps me sane :)

  7. I could of written this... keep on pushing Warrior. It is all about the journey.