Thursday, January 31, 2013

~ Ten Things Thursday ~

Heck yes!

1.  Notice anything missing yesterday?  Weigh in...I forgot.  I worked out - dreadmill and weights and then forgot to get on the scale before the shower...fooey.

2.  Is it me... Or are my dogs the cutest in the world?  As I type this my Sammy dog is resting her head on my laptop.

3.  I'm failing badly at one of my goals for 2013 ...the one where I focus less on social life and more on working out.   Its so hard to say no..and sometimes I have to go out for work....not last night though....I was a dirty stay out....1am on a wednesday...and I'm going out again tonight....

4.  Tricep burn from it

5.  I woke up to a pond in my sunroom - the back door blew open in the storm last night and it rained in my house...not one dog tried to let me know.....useless!

5.  Yesterday was a great day - walked on dreadmill, weights and abs - ate very little, some eggs, did have a cookie, went out for Japanese and maybe had too much wine, and dessert

6.  Today is a fresh new opportunity!

7. NSV - went to help a friend make a decision on which boots to keep from her latest Zappos haul....she is thin and beautiful fyi...I tried on a pair that she had and they fit!!  holy amzaing - they are perfect - I ordered them and will post photos when they get here

8.  I'm feeling better today - cold, go away

9. Thankful that we don't have tornados here......hurricanes suck but at least there is warning.

10. Rain rain go away.   

12.  I never was any good at counting...     

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Food ~ the disfunctional lover

I miss binging - 

When the world is spinning out of control the one thing that used to give me relief is gone, I'm sad.  I think about the food that I would power eat to get rid of stress and as I try and shove it down it won't go in and definately doesn't taste like it should and does not have the effect of satisfaction.  
For example, yesterday I had a day off - finally!!  Some how a king size twix bar found its way into my car - I had half of one and then chucked three out of the window as I was driving (without the wrapper, of course - I'm not a litter bug).  The high I was looking for was no longer there. 
I mourn that quick relief, but there are hungry birds out there that are psyched to get my leftovers.

Blah - I've got a stupid rerespiratory cold that makes running a sucky experience.  I will still walk - and do some weights.

My "me" time yesterday

Do you see the Eddie?

S'mai  - Diva Puppy!


Monday, January 28, 2013

Fuel the Machine they Said....

Cat and Miss Lorie are my heros!  For many many reasons but because today I know there are two souls out there that are slogging it out with the voice.  The one in our heads that says we deserve ice cream and treats and that it will make us feel good.

Well, I say ~ back off VOICE!  We are going to fuel our machines today - It will not make me feel better to eat candy when I'm stressed.  It will make me feel worse!  One decision at a time and one moment at a time I will survive.  Today I'm planning on eating 8 meals!

8 meals - what tha what?  Yep.  I'm out witting hunger with that plan, dammit! 

My plan is going to work.

I'll be on the dreadmill this morning for 40 minutes

There is this cold that is trying to bring me down and I refuse to allow it.  

This weekend at work was insane - but in a great way.  I love who I work with and loved that all my appointments went well.  It was worth all the extra work.  Smiling and proud!  ~ also FYI - it would have never happened pre-band.  I never would have had the self confidence to go after what I want.

Again another crazy social week ahead - last night was my only night off from dinners and such.
Tonight - dinner with one of the girls
Tomorrow - all day NYC  for work - I'll be home late like 10.
Wednesday - Birthday party for one of the girls
Thursday - another dinner out with some friends
Friday - Mother in Law Birthday dinner -

The best way to make it through- eat clean and exercise.  GAME ON LIFE!!! GAME ON!

Oh and PS = its getting warmer!!!  Whoo hoo! 


Saturday, January 26, 2013

New Blue Coat.

Yup - I got one and what a fabulous one it is!  
On my way to family dinner - I stopped in to Macy's for a little peak - and bam 50% off sale!  Go me Go me Go Moi!!  
Left with one awesome Blue Coat, One crisp white button down and the worlds most amazing fitting jeans.
Everything size 10 - I've been a size 10 (sometimes a size 8) for well over a year. Thats one  epic NSV. (stop beating yourself up)
I don't know about you guys but I always assume that when I go shopping if its been a while...for some reason I'll be back in the plus sizes...
Total body disconnect. 

Plan for today
Protein shake
Dinner out at a friends - veggies - her hubbie is making a traditional Dominican meal - she describes it as meat, with meat and some side of meat.  So Veggie girl gets her own dish....yay!

I've got appointments at 9, 10:30, 1 and have to prep for tomorrow and for our work trip in to NYC on Tuesday - now that I have a new on big on!

Here is a pic of the new coat - its not me in the pic but its my color hair...


Friday, January 25, 2013

TGIF ~ kinda

No, I don't have the weekend off.... But I will get a lot done and crush it.

I'm about to go get on the dreadmill - because thats what is right with my day - I get to read and email and focus for the day.

I've been thinking about writing a book.  Like I have all this spare time to do that  ~ Eat Pray Lapband? Thoughts?  Maybe it would be collection of all of our stories like The Help?  

Stay warm today - My dogs have already settled into the couch for the day and it only 6:30...

Home office ~ I managed to have a semi work at home day on Tuesday

Showing summer rentals in the snow!! - now just imagine your Hamptons getaway - sans snow. HA!

The Magic pill - cure for the winter blues

Dinner at a friends - how beautiful is this??

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Ten Things Thursday ~ I'm back a day early!

1. - Balls Cold.  7 degrees this moring

2. - I have a rental appointment today that took me a day to set up and then my customer sent me an email at midnight ans switched it all around...urgh. 

3.  I found the magic pill - its called exercise - did 20 minutes on the dreadmill yesterday morning and my mood improved by 100%

4.  The past week was a dark place for me with the food and mood - I've been so busy with work (blessing) with no time off this week or next and been working from the time I wake up till the minute I go to bed. 

5. Insert something funny here

6.  Had dinner with a friend who is preop just waiting for her date from our surgeon .... I love the energy and hope she is filled with - I remember that feeling ~  Its surgery dammit!  I've got to be more respectful of my band.

7. Balance - you are day I will find you

8.  Wishing for a blizzard so I can justify staying home and watching hours of Downton Abbey!

9.  The Magic Pill IS exercise

10.  The Magic Pill IS Exercise

Friday, January 18, 2013

I'm taking a break

I'm taking a week off from blogging. 
Will report back next Friday.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Weigh in and the struggle

Last week 160.8
This week 163.0
meh - you do the math - UP

I binged.   Sugar has its claws in me real good.  
I wish I were one of those people who just had no clue about portions and that my weight issue was just due to the fact that I was not educated about eating healthy.  If I were that person than I'm sure I would be at goal and flying along in awesomenes.
But thats not me...I have always known what is the right food to eat - I was on weight watchers at the age of 5 for god sake - trust me I know right from wrong with food.  
But thats not my problem - I am addict.  Thats not an excuse - its a fact.
I am addicted to the high and the crash.  When I need a jolt....sugar
when I'm flying along and I need to calm down.....sugar
When I'm stressed....sugar
The truth is I'm a speed addict too.  I love feeling high, alert and in control.  You would never ever find me smokin a joint laying in a hammock listening to Bob Marley.   (love you Bob - but its not my style)
When my life is out of control - I'm gonna have more sugar and probably 5 cups of coffee - the ultimate speed ball.  I justified eating 4 candy bars on the way home yesterday telling myself this - "hey at least its not cocaine".  Real rational.

Right now - its out of control - Work is nuts, I've not exercised since Sunday.  I mean to but.... My social calendar is house is dog car is broken down in the driveway so I've not been able to run the dogs on the beach daily I have doggie guilt. I'm a horrible wife - paying little to no attention to Mo.  I really need a nice wool winter coat for work but can't afford clothes are all beat up and its all so overwhelming.

Wow .... that feels good to get it all out.  

Whats the real problem here?  I have to detox again.  urgh. 
Its a vicious cycle...

I should start by being kind to myself. 

I'm sure I'll pull it together once again....and its a process and I've got this, I just need to slow down and take it one moment at a time.