Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Food ~ the disfunctional lover

I miss binging - 

When the world is spinning out of control the one thing that used to give me relief is gone, I'm sad.  I think about the food that I would power eat to get rid of stress and as I try and shove it down it won't go in and definately doesn't taste like it should and does not have the effect of satisfaction.  
For example, yesterday I had a day off - finally!!  Some how a king size twix bar found its way into my car - I had half of one and then chucked three out of the window as I was driving (without the wrapper, of course - I'm not a litter bug).  The high I was looking for was no longer there. 
I mourn that quick relief, but there are hungry birds out there that are psyched to get my leftovers.

Blah - I've got a stupid rerespiratory cold that makes running a sucky experience.  I will still walk - and do some weights.

My "me" time yesterday

Do you see the Eddie?

S'mai  - Diva Puppy!



  1. Ugg I hate running sick! Hope you feel better soon!!

  2. I never realized until a few months after the band that I had been "medicating" myself with food. I have been thinking about your "fuel the machine" post quite a bit and realizing that I am asking my body to perform with fuel that isn't really fuel, but garbage. Today is a new day, and I am going to try and do better!
    -I LOVE the puppy picuters!-

  3. Feel better!!!!

    The food was the worst for me right after surgery - realizing that I could not have it caused the worst depression!! Glad the high was no longer there!

  4. I love love those puppies. : ) They are as awesome as you Warrior!
    If you had asked me 90 lbs ago if I stress ate. I would have said...ummm no. I eat only when I'm hungry. I eat very large portions, but I only eat when I'm hungry.

    Ummm wrong. I absolutely find myself looking for chocolate during times of stress so obviously this was a behavior that I was unaware of at my heaviest. Interesting.

  5. I feel you so hard on this one, V. Sometimes it does make me sad that I can no longer eat the way I used to, because it seemed so much EASIER wasn't, of course, but when that stressed/sad/mad/bored feeling comes over me, it would be so nice to have a go to for sure way of making myself feel better...the saddest thing is, I KNOW even before I put it in my mouth that it won't work, and I'll just end up more dissatisfied and pissed than when I started - usually with a stuck episode and massive PB to boot. Trying to sit with those feelings is really hard, but ultimately so much better for our health, and mental health. Stick with it love, you are rocking out!

  6. I'm noticing the same thing. I cooked an entire Italian mean for my family yesterday and didn't even have any of it! The excitement is gone, which is probably a good thing.
    Sorry you're sick. Glad you had a day off though.
    Hubby and I just started watching Revenge and I think of you living in the Hamptons!

  7. Cute babies! Great pictures. I hope you feel better. Seems like everyone is sick. I love twix bars!!! Great restraint!!

  8. I'm not gonna lie, I think about binging several times a week. I haven't acted on it because as much as I get the urge to binge, the memory of how it made me feel while doing it and afterwards, turns me off the prospect. Hope you feel better soon so you can get back to the running:)