Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Weigh in Wednesday

Start ~ 241
Last week ~ 162
This Week ~ 157.8 ~ post run
BOOYAH! 4.2 pounds

Work out Wednesday!! ~ 5 miles this morning ~  in 55 minutes

Thanks for all your comments yesterday!  Loved the poem from Chris!

Keepin it simple w/Liquid during the day and working my balls off so no time to eat.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Too tight Jeans and the chocolate mystery ~ a peom

Snug Jeans. :( 
Chocolate leaping into my mouth.
Fear the Past.
Turn this around ~
I will.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

NYC ~Adventures

Wow!  I have been a bad bandster.  This will be half confessional and half new plan post with NYC adventure thrown in.
I have not worked out since Tuesday.  I am justifying this by thinking I need a winter break ~ calling bullshit on that and running this morning.  
I have been eating like I did pre-band ~ Candy, cake, crap!  I know why ~ I am so stressed with work right now and have pms ~ so its a perfect storm for sugar/cheese meltdown.  This stops today ~ Liquids should sort that out now.

I went for an overnight adventure to NYC on Friday with my best friend from high school and her wife.  Saw Sinead O'Connor at the Highline!  SO EPIC!!  The new album is the shit!  "How about I be me (and you be you)?" ~ Flipping amazing!  I have never cried at a concert before but dang if she didn't break me down.  Er..that could have been influenced by the disgusting amount of vodka and wine I was drinking.  I sometimes think that when I go out with friends from high school that its okay to drink to like a frat boy.

After the show we went to a diner somewhere in the village and I forgot I had a lap band and ordered a huge platter of eggs and smoked salmon (since when do I eat eggs?) ~ Stuck after the first bite ~ bad @ 2am in some funky place and lets just say I was far from sober...urgh.
The next time I go out I'll tape a note to my forehead ~ "Do not feed the animal" 
I made it home yesterday and pulled it together to go to work somehow.

Today is a new day!  My work situation is pretty good ~ I have two opportunities that I am trying to decide between...both involve real estate and I think they are the same pay wise...just have to figure out which one will make me happiest.  So not a bad position to be in to choose between good and better! yay!

A small NSV yesterday ~ so obviously I had an epic hangover and I felt/looked like Courtney Love crossed with Russel Brand.  No es bueno.  In the past I would have called it a day ~ gone to bed and not bothered.  But I put on my big girl spanx and a sweater dress and went to work ~ feeling confident that I looked respectable.  The sweater dress...Yes.   My friend gave me 3 cashmire dresses ~ they require spanx of course but ~ how easy to get dressed ~ add tights and boots. Viola! professional lady ~ With big sunglasses and a banging headache but hey least I showed up!

Hope everyone is having a great weekend..I've got to catch up on my blogs ~ been working and not had much time to read...I need some inspiration to get this hot mess organized and on the way to goal!

Sinead's new video below.

Thursday, February 23, 2012


1. I love lox rolled up with cream cheese
2. Work is hard 
3. I love my dogs
4. The older I get the shorter the days get
5.  I like to say Fuck
6. In fact, I think it is underused in everyday language
7. No, it does not make me less of a lady
8. I like wearing size 8 jeans - a fuck lot
9. Planning a vacation is hard work when the one place I like in Big Sur is 950 a nite.
10. I can't stop thinking about that green dress

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Weigh in Wednesday ~ NSV

Let me start by saying that I would buy this dress just so I could throw a theme party around it.  
One of my best friends is getting married so we went wedding dress shopping.  White is soooo 2009.   I would go green if I could.  

So Wednesday weigh in ~ 162 ~ how the fuck that happened is beyond me (liar).  I saw 155.6 on Friday.  Just sayin.  Add wine, cheese, mac n cheese and chocolate with a crazy work weekend and behold ~ fat ass in da house. 

What should I do differently ~ prepare my food ~ doing that tonight ~ chick pea curry and have a bunch of shakes ready for the week

Run more ~ yes

Give up Sugar and Alcohol for lent ~ I am not  a religious woman and when asked, I will say I am Buddhist ~ but I think these Catholics may be onto something with the winter detox.

So ~ there ye have it ~ a huge gain and lime green dress ~ if I had 750 bucks that fucker would be coming with me!  
NSV ~ it was off the rack size 10.  and I was wearing jeans under it. ha

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Just a little update...

I went for my free facial and who should walk in when I have enzyme peal all over my face?  Nate Berkus ~ he looked at me and went "eeew" but then we had a laugh.  Then he came back in when I was finished and said  "much better!"  He is a cutie!!

I am going to run with this story and by later tonight it will be more like this:
Nate and I had lunch today and he wants me to star in my own show ~ called Honey Badgers do the Hamptons.  It will be similar to Absolutely Fabulous only younger and more Fabulous. Then he asked me to find him a house to buy and then he said he would refer all of his friends to me when they come to buy or sell their fabulous Hamptons homes. 
Yep ... that's what happened to me today

In Band News ~ My shit is tight and I still like it
I ran 5 yesterday and MTB 12 this morning 
Scale was down but its just the beginning of the weekend and I have a Masquerade Ball tonight ~ so we'll see what happens by Wednesday....
Worked my Honey Badger ass off today and have a day full of appointments for rentals tomorrow.
The Universe keeps giving me the goods! 
I love it.

Friday, February 17, 2012

10 Things Thursday Friday

1.  I'm psyched to run this morning ~ it WARM out!
2.  Therapy is hard, but is helping
3.  One of my mentors died yesterday morning and I'm so thankful I was able to see her the day before to say good bye.
4.  My job is so much easier now that I no longer have to spend an hour beating myself up that I am fat before I meet customers.  I have more room in my brain now because I no longer worry or care if people like me.
5. We are trying to plan our vacation and I am frozen ~ we can go anywhere at any time and I just can't pull the trigger....decisions are hard
6.  Going to a masquerade ball tomorrow night!  So fun. I'll be wearing my black dress and a fab mask.
7.  Getting a free facial - mini face lift treatment at Natropathica tomorrow...I so need this! 
8.  Accepting the abundance the universe has for me has been huge.  I am so thankful that I took last year off to take care of me and have Lap Band Surgery ~ clearing the way for the success this year will bring
9. Sarcasm is my language of choice after 7pm, although this is amusing to me, it often does not come off as intended in work emails...I should tone that down.  
10.  My favorite part of the day is NOW! That hour I spend drinking coffee, waking up and preparing to "Crush it" Today! 

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Wednesday Weigh in

Last Week ~ 156.8
This Week ~ 159.2
GAIN ~ 2.4 ~ Woa nelly!

Though shalt not take off 3 days from working out, drink wine, and eat slider foods.

I did go for a 5 mile run this morning.  Time to get this badonkadonk in gear and get these last 17 er 18 lbs off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh ~ work meeting went really well yesterday. Looks like I'll be working a lot more and blogging a lot less... that's a good thang.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentines Day ~ Lap Band Style

My Shit is tight.  Yes, that's right. The band is super tight ~ not in a bad way at all.

Yesterday I was fiending for some know the valentines ones with the sugary gooey pink frosting that every bakery has right now.  I held it off for four hours and then broke down ~ I figured if I wanted THAT bad to go for it.  I bought a bunch of them for the office and cut the tops off two ~ that's all I really wanted anyway ~ but like a good girl I ate my lunch first...sauteed Portobello mushroom ~ and dammit if I didn't fill up and have NO room for la band!  Don't worry I managed to get them down two hours later....
We went out last night for our Valentines dinner and once again my eyes are bigger than my stomach ...I had a few bites of salad and a few bite of Vegan Udon noodles and that was it.   I felt so full.  Like after thanksgiving full.
That really full feeling immediately made me feel guilty like I had just binged..but then I remembered that I hardly had anything to eat at all. So Yay!  Its working, big restriction!

I have been  lazy ass sloth ~ the opposite of a nastyass honey badger.  Haven't worked out since Saturday...eeek and its Tuesday!  I'm not sweating it too bad...sometimes I have to re-charge to go full steam ahead and its cold out.  So later today, I'll get in a run/bike.  Then going to spend the night with some girlfriends and having a Valentines "do-over" Tomorrow night with Mo. Long story....

I have realized that now i have do something about my shoulder.  Going to make an appt with an orthopedic surgeon next still really hurts ~ 4 months now ~ and I can't do boot camp (which blows!)
So hopefully some PT will sort it out.  

Today is a big day work wise ~ I have the opportunity to work with a very successful person and grow my business.  It could mean a lot more money (alot more work too) and it could also mean I'll be going to see you all in Chicago!  Fingers Crossed.

I can't wait to hear how Ronnie's Valentines Day vicariously once again!  Hope it kicks ass!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

I got high

Yes, I did.  I got high on saying No.  At the grocery gauntlet of shitty chocolate and crappy snacks.  Its always touch and go at the checkout ~ will I or won't I?  Today I didn't ~ the voice said "That is not who you are anymore  ~ you don't eat candy in the car ride home"  So I said No.  And yes, I feel "better than" ~ better than the old me ~ that girl that I'm running from.  So I went home and had some lunch.   Healthy lunch.  Every single time I make that decision to walk away ~ and its not easy ~ I get stronger.

So that was my adventure for the day.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

BYOC ~ Saturday morning Edition

BYOC - Bring Your Own Crazy!~ Brought to you by Drazil

It’s Friday and that means it’s time for BYOC! Bring Your Own Crazy! We answer 5 questions in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy to your own blog if you wish and ENJOY! 

Name a Valentine Gift you would not want to receive:

A rake.  ~ weird, I know but its the first thing that came to mind.

2. What’s your vacation personality? Do you act/eat/talk/do things differently or completely opposite from when you are not on vacation?

I'm still just doin me on vacation ~ although I have yet to go on Vacation with the band.  So April's trip to California will be an adventure. 

3. Describe yourself in 5 POSITIVE words.

4. Do you have any phobias or irrational fears or dislikes?
Yes, I hate the sound of human breathing, sniffling, snoring or chewing.  I will jump out of a moving bus to get away from that shit.  I may have quit my last job via text message b/c my boss was a "breather" I was about to strangle him with a shoe lace.  ...I should see someone about this....
5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in blog land and in real life.

Real life was great this week!  First House sold!  Done! Scale is moving down, got a fill and am working my band.  Planning a Trip to Northern California ~ So if anyone has any recommendations or lives around there ...would love some ideas ~ vineyards and redwoods are top on my list!

Blog land has been good too ~ I love reading about everyone ~ even if my ADD forces me to skim a bit.... I still am rooting for you all.  Thanks for all your positive comments this week.  I was telling my dr about you all and what a huge part blogging has played in my weight loss journey.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Ten Things Thursday ~ yippy!!

1. I went to my awesome dr today for a fill ~ .25 ~ she thinks I'm really tight (teeheee) ~ We went over the end game and she said I am ok to stop now but 140 is ideal for me ~ That's what I thought too and I want to be down 101 lbs!  17 to go! Woo Hoo!

2. Tomorrow I have my first closing ~ I am so excited!  I'll no longer be a real estate virgin!  Yay!  At our awards dinner last night the top agent for the company (Hamptons only) sold 257 Million dollars worth  of real estate LAST YEAR! I had to put her notice that I'm coming for her out!

3.  I'm on liquids today and I like it.  No dinner decisions to be made.

4.  Tomorrow I have a speed workout early.

5.  I can't think of anything witty to say ~ it must be the lack of sugar in my blood

6.  I lost 12.4 pounds since October 14 when I last went to the dr.  of that 12.4 lbs, 8.39 of those pounds was fat mass...what was the other 4 pounds then?  Air?  Hair? Farts? Nail Varnish? I wonder if the Tanita Scale is fucking with me?

7.  My friend was at Target today and I sent her a text to pick me up a pair of jeans...I gave her the size and color I wanted...when have I ever done that!!  

8.  I met a woman in the waiting room at dr office.  She was pretty heavy.  I talk to everyone and anyone who will listen to me, so I asked her if she had gotten the lap band...because, thats why we are all there right? WLS - duh... She said she had ~ in February of 2010 and that it didn't work.  WHAT THA?  So I asked her if she was going to go with VSG or Bypass.  She said, no ... I'm done.  I tried .. it didn't work.  What tha balls!!!!  She had SURGERY and gave up??  At that point I shut up and smiled and nodded.  I don't get it.  I mean, I can see gaining back some um eating chocolate like an Olympic champion....but never having lost in the first place and then giving up?  Wow.  It was like looking at the living version of my biggest FEAR.   I felt bad for her.  When I started this jorney, that was my biggest fear ~ the surgery failing me...but now I know that its the other way around...I will NOT FAIL my surgery.  Oh shit, # 8 is like its own blog post...sorry

9.  I hate reading long blog posts...ADD in the house.

10. Tomorrow we start planning our trip to San Fransico and Napa.  Hells yes! 

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Small Victory and photo

The effin drugstore is a gauntlet of hell....
I had to get some makeup for a work party tonight ~ I look like hell and I know there will be lots of pictures so time to Spackle on some Tammy Fae esque makeup.   I digress...

So there I was and holy shit if there weren't two Aisles full of VD candy all in beautiful shiny boxes calling my name.  I wanted to buy the big one but grabbed the small one and planned on going home, pigging out, watching TV and then getting ready to go out.  
But something magical happened.....
I put the candy back.  I want to thank bandedwendy for that. She just did a video on how she talks herself out of eating cookies or whatever.  The phrase "will this get you to goal?"  stuck in my head.
I put back the candy paid for my face paint and got the hell outta there ~ got home and hammered out an 11 mile mountain bike ride ~ That's how I'm getting to goal!  
I'm also running late for the party b/c I'm blogging ~ but fuck it ~ I'll just make a grand entrance to the party in my new dress, new makeup and sugar free body.
Yeah ~ I'm feelin like a million bucks right now ~ 
I put the candy back.....I will make it to goal.
Good night girls!

Wednesday Weigh in

Last week ~ 157.2 ~ post MTB
This week ~ 158.6 ~ pre work out
This week ~ post MTB ~ 156.8 callin it a .4 pound
not sure if its a gain or loss.  will re-weigh after workout~
But i'm guessing its all about the same 

In other exciting news ~
I washed and dried my new size 8 jeans....whoops ~ I held them up this morning ~ eyeing them suspiciously.  I looked at the waist and legs and looked down at my body.  No effin way my brain said..
Then one leg at a time those fuckers fit!!!!  It never gets old! 

I know why I'm not loosing ~ 
I eat candy
I eat Pirates Booty
I eat salted pistachios
I eat pizza
I eat chocolate cake
I eat cookies
I stand over the sink shoveling peanut butter into my face
I eat nachos
This is all sad but true ~ the lap band is not a cure for food addiction.

My therapist pointed out that I'm an adrenalin Junkie and need to try and meditate and slow down....
Today ~ I'll try this.
Tomorrow ~  I'll get Fill 

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Who Pushes Me...

Lap Band Girl did a great post this morning about her Jazzercise Instructor Julie, and she asks "Who Pushes You?"

This girl pushes me ~ I want to be as far from her as possible!

I also have a huge team of cheerleaders!  

They include ~ My husband, My Best Friend x2, A whole slew of women who compete in Iron Man races and other nutty events, Two of my friends are personal trainers and just about everyone I hang with is involved in some type of sport.  (Biking being #1 of course)

It makes a huge difference who you surround yourself with.  Just like when you are a teenager and your mom doesn't want you hanging with the "bad" kids because she fears you will end up doing the same dumb stuff they do.  Its the same for me.  My friends are always talking me into doing some crazy race or midnight ride or something ~ and yes, just about every time I do one of these nutty things I end up in way over my head but have a blast and cant wait for the next time!  
Like now I am doing some 40 mile race in August b/c all my friends are doing it too.  
And yes, if they jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge I probably would too ~ and I'm sure I would have fun doing it!

So the terror of being 241 pounds is what pushed my ass outta bed this morning and into an 8 mile trail run (boooyah Mu@#$%%s!)
And the love and support of an entire village of people is what keeps me signing up for more crazy events each year!  

Monday, February 6, 2012

Make a list Monday

Make a list Monday ~ brought to you by Robyn!

This will be the first Make A List Monday edition.  I will put a category out there and your job is to copy and paste the question to your blog and make a list of up to 10 things that match the category. 

The category for Make A List Monday is: Places you would like to visit in the world again or for the first time.  It can be a Country, State, City, Park, place of interest, amusement park, or whatever you are interested in visiting.
Here is my list:

1. Sardinia ~ best Vacation ever ...better than our Honeymoon - its an island off the coast of Italy ~ Can't wait to get back

2. Bali ~ Indonesia ~ I have wanted to go here since I was 9 years idea why but its at the top of my Bucket List

3.  Northern California ~ Going in April ~ wine tasting and mountain biking ~ cant beat that!

4.  The Hideout ~ working ranch in Wyoming ~ 

5. Yosemite national Park

6. Moab ~ Utah~ mountain Biking - going this fall 

7. Tibet ~ I want to hike Mountain Bike through Tibet

8. Machu Pichu ~ 

9.  The Dolamites ~ Italy

10. Austraila/NZ 

Friday, February 3, 2012


It’s Friday and that means it’s time for BYOCBring Your Own Crazy brought to you by DRAZ

1. Have you ever bought undies/bra/lingerie for someone else? Or has anyone ever bought them for you? How was the “experience”?

Never bought for someone else...and yes, once Mo brought me home a set of Hooters underwear from comment ~ I was weighing about 200 at the time and they were size medium....  did not go well

2. Do you have an internal song you replay in your head that is just yours?

It varies day to day ~ some days its "rump shaker"  most days its JAY Z's HOVA  I can make any situation fit into this song.

3. I heard on the news the other day that something like 80% of people think a tan person is way sexier than “not tan”. How do you feel about that? Do you tan? Fake bake? Real sun? Or do you wear SPF 150?

I think some color looks good ~ but only if you are already olive toned.  There is nothing tackier than a fair blond with freckles rocking a dark tan.  eeeew.   
I am fair with brown hair ~ wish I could tan ~ I burn and peal...I think my legs look much skinnier tanned.
My dad has skin cancer so I'm pretty good with the SPF ~ and I'm trying not to wrinkle...

4. Do you vote in the presidential election? Do you vote based on news, family opinions or research or your gut?
I vote ~ always democrat. Even though I think all of our politicians are puppets of the corporate evil doers.

5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.
REAL LIFE ~ work is good ~ busy, I left the team I worked on and am on my own now.  Waiting on the money train.
Trying to sort through the feeling of being the new me...not easy
Really missing my friend Andrew....the grief process is long and hard (thats what she said..sorry:)
Exercise ~ okay 
Food ~ disaster

BLOG LIFE  ~ finding the balance of reading blogs only 2x a day so that I can focus on work.  Been commenting a bunch and seriously considering coming to Chicago this fall....we shall see.

Dress Photos

As promised the dress I wore last night ~ size 10!  
~ Body Dismorphia ~ I still think I look chunky....hoping the brain catches up soon...
I have to say I am much more comfortable in the Subaru jersey than the dress! 

Thursday, February 2, 2012

10 Things Thursday

1.  I'm going out to dinner w/SO and getting gigged up for that in my new dress ~ pictures to follow!
2.  I saw the woman today who was the reason I got my lapband ~ she is radiating sunshine and still kicking ass ~ 3 years later and out dating on line ~ get some!
3. Watched My 600 Pound Life last night and this morning on TLC ~ totally blew me away ~ a must see for everyone.  
4. Work is busy and I'm feeling a shower of green backs coming my way ~ bootay slap
5.  I ran this morning ~ short run with the dogs ~ but, hey, its something
6.  I love having short hair!
7. I am contemplating taking drugs ~ lexapro to be exact ~ my highs are too high
8. Just got the best present ever ~ SO got me a subaru Jersey for mtb!! ~ see photo below!
9. I love my Subaru and I love MTB and I really love that subaru sponsors a team! 
10.  I'm still just doin' me!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Wednesday Weigh in

UPDATE ~ WEIGH IN POST BIKE RIDE ~ 157.2 ~ I'm counting it b/c I have always weighed in post run or bike ~ so there! 

Start ~ 241 size 22
Today ~159.00 Size 8 jeans on ~ this HBIC is a happy camper today
Last week ~ 159.6
Loss ~ .6 
Any loss is a good loss ~ however ~I generally weigh in after running so this # might actually be more ~ but I can't run till this afternoon...blah blah blah...

Size 8 jeans ~ yeah they are a little tight ~ kinda like 70's tight but I just don't give a shit!  I'm just doin me today!

***creepy co-worker story ***  I work with this older gentleman ~ picture an old car salesman who chain smokes ~ he calls me tootsie and says "one more pound and I'm gonna make my move on you"  To say I puke a little every time I hear that is an understatement.
So last week he is all "Are you done loosing Tootsie?"  And i'm all "I'm not sure ...I haven't lost in a while but well see"  And he goes
:  "Well you certainly are tightening up ~ everything is in a nice package"  ~ 
So I left for the day...gross!
This has turned into my translation of "Yo shit is Tight!"
I think i'll start using "Keepin' it tight"  as my email signature for work from now on...