ONE YEAR BANDIVERSARY!

One year Bandiversary –

Its hard to believe that a year ago I was about embark on a great journey and now I'm no longer a "newbie" - 

Wow – what a year.  I found myself, lost a large part of myself and continue to keep “doin’” myself.

Where I came from – yo yo dieting and having struggled with weight my whole life.  I had lost and gained 80 pounds at least 5 times before I was 34.  Last year before I had surgery I was so depressed, even suicidal.  I had completely given up and was living at rock bottom.  After a second round of Phentermine and not loosing a pound, my life was controlled by sugar and I was totally out of control with binging.  It was a dark place.  I had to do something drastic or I would die.

The lap band was my hail mary.

Surgery was the best decision I ever made.  For me it has been a mental and emotional journey.  I couldn’t have been as successful without a huge support network – My blogger girls – love you, my husband and hero, my friends who are all super athletes and cheer me on daily.  I am down about 82 pounds I am a size 8/10 and have been maintaining for a few months – I would like to be down another 10/15 pounds but living here is just fine with me.

The biggest changes are mental – Of course I am smaller, faster and feel like a million bucks but the hard part has been my head.  Struggling with my relationship, struggling with my relationship with food, and adjusting to attention.  I’m in a good spot now – I am still me – just 85 pounds less of me and pretty sassy

  Loosing the weight was an opportunity to deal with the real problems in my life and to stop hiding behind my weight as “the problem”.

Where I am now – I am happy – my career is taking off, I am content  and feel normal and free.  I work out a shit ton.   Training for an off road half marathon, planning vacations around races and living the life that I was always promising would come – “if I loose the weight, then I will…”

Where I’m going – the sky is the limit – I know that I will be an athlete always and that I never will again say no to doing anything b/c I feel self conscious of my body.

A pretty damn good place to be.

My Advice to anyone considering the surgery – Do it – as long as you are prepared to do the work, and know that it is a TOOL that you have to work.  I spent a large portion of last year devoting everything I had into loosing weight and doing the work - I was lucky that I could do that.

My Secret Weapon -  Love of Mountain Biking , Running and the great out doors

My Achilles heel – Food and sugar. still 

HAPPY FRIDAY AND EASTER/PASSOVER - ON TO YEAR TWO!

PS - I'll post some pictures over the weekend...