A Look back on 2012 ~

2012 -  I made some great new friends, realized I can not do this alone - I need my accountability partners - It was quite a ride that I think has just prepped me for CRUSHING IT in 2013

These were my goals from my post 12/30/11

Make Money ~  I have to put this at the top ~ right now broke even looks good ~ I am sub broke ~ like po. I have spent the last year focusing on myself and putting my fitness first and work on the back burner. While I didn't make the money that I wanted to make I know this year was a launching pad for making my financial goals come to fuition in 2013
 ~ Starting 1/2/12 ~ I will be in the office at least 5 days a week from 9 to 5 or something like that (real estate is really flexible)
I worked like a dog this year and worked much more than this
~ If I have not made $$ by May 10th I will toss in the towel on this career and get a real job, le sigh.
Thanks to the support of Mo and having a new business plan - I extended this deadline and now know that there is nothing else I would want to be doing.

Get to Goal Weight by 1 year bandiversary 4/6/12~ 139  ~ I am 22 pounds away and this is killing me.  
~ Starting 1/2/12 ~ Back to band basics ... protein first, water water water, chew chew, listen to my band and portion control
Yeah....this...did.....er...not....happen. I am in the same spot I was this time last year - perhaps flabbier and a few pounds heavier....I would say this had a lot to do with new friends and putting a social life higher up on the ladder than working out and eating right - you play - you pay....eeekkk - I also have a hard time judging how much to eat when I am out and about the skinny people - they eat like crap and are skinny...This pisses me off and I tend to go one for one with them

Get Faster ~ Races
~ Run a sub 30 5K - DONE ~ OK I CANT FIND WHEN I DID IT BUT I KNOW I DID AND POSTED ABOUT IT SOMEWHERE..
~ 666 Race bike Run bike ~ Canceled
~ Half Marathon off road  ~ uh ....no
~ Schiff Scout Race Series 4 Races ~ off road  ~ these were also canceled
~ Firecracker 8k ~ 4th of July Weekend ~ I'm pretty sure it was hot as balls so I skipped it
~ VT 50!!! ~ yeah - didn't do this one
~ Serpents Back Duathlon ~ Did this one and crushed it
~ Mountain Man Biathlon ~ I was all set to do this but it was the day a little storm named Sandy was roaring into my 'hood

New Clothes/Makeup/Hair ~ this is all dependent on #1 ~ make money ~ cuz right now it ain't pretty...I got a new hair cut that I love - I rocked some cool new clothes and felt pretty bad ass. I would say this is the one thing that I did and did really well

Embrace my word and live it~ Really ~ like be secure in who I am and don't give a shit (honey badger) what others think.  The road ahead may get really bumpy this year but its cool because I'm rollin' off road anyway.  Halfway did this....will carry on building my confidence

My predictions for 2012 ~ 
I will reach my goal. .....er not so much
I will make a bucket load of money....er um ....not really
I will take a new path....nope
I will have a ton of fun!....HELL YEAH ~ I HAD A SHIT TON OF FUN THIS YEAR!

THIS WAS MY WORD LAST YEAR.
My Word Our Word ~ Dawnya and I are sharing~ I mentioned it on Tuesday but here it is for real:


Badass aka ~ Honey Badger 

1.Adjective: Used to describe one who totally owns who he/she is, is uninhibited in who they are and doesn't let what other people think affect his/her actions/decisions.

2.Noun: A person who is the best of the best at what they do professionally and/or personally. Being a Badass goes hand-in-hand with being self confident, secure and uninhibited. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Blustery Sunday

The wind is blowing at 30 and the temp is 29 --- grrrrr
 
This is the post were I tell you what I've been meaning to do....

I was supposed to be mountain biking all week ---but its been cold as balls and rainy/snowy
I was supposed to be relaxing and reflecting back on the year ---but I've been crazy busy at work - no clue why....but I'll take it
I was supposed to be eating well ----but I've been cracked out on the carbs, sugar and liquor ~ Cookies are like meth for me
I was supposed to clean and organize my house ---- but in my free time I've been watching Downton Abby 
I was suposed to be mapping out a year ahead with milestones and steps to success - but every time I sit down to do this my eyes glaze over and I get foggy and can't see the future - not sure why this is,  but my head goes blank.

So there!  All of my slacking and excuses are out of the way for the year!  I have gone the way of the sloth/blobfish for the last week - I am slowly working on my goals....and shall be posting them on Tuesday...
We have an epic New Years Eve planned  ~ We are going to my best friends house to watch Ted (I've only seen it 10 times) and have snacks and just chill by the fire.   I'm looking forward to ringing in the new year in a relaxed way.   
Here's to a kick ass 2013!!!!  
PS - I just want to thank everyone for being there for me - your comments mean the world to me! 

Ten Things Thursday...

First I'd Like to end the year with my mascot - LE Blobfish - Isn't she just adorable? 

1.  I'm pretty sure I was abducted by aliens last night...I woke up to lots of lights flashing in our room - like camera flashes ...then had a vision of me on a table with my back being operated on and woke up this morning with horrendous back pain.   

Just sayin....

2.  "Call me Maybe" is stuck in my head

3.  I'm not gonna lie - I'm a bit sad and disappointed that I didn't get a Christmas bonus or even a thank you from the person I work with/for - even though I adore him.  I wonder if the lack of this means that I don't do good work or that he is disappointed in me...\Got a bonus ~ yippy!!!  

4.  Today I did well with the plan for the most part.  Instead of soup I had grilled cheese and fries - I'm such a moron - my band is tight and I still forced it in.

5.  Ever just be on the verge of tears?  Thats me today.

6. Sammy dog keeps barking at me  like I'm gonna take her for a walk or something....NOT- its pitch black out and freezing!

7.  Yeah - I got nuthin else to say...let me know if anyone has an explanation for what happened to me last night.... maybe its detox...hmmm

Weigh in Wednesday and Christmas Wrap up

Today 163.2 -
Down a smidge from last week's appalling gain of163.8
I'll take it - this week was rough

Finally - I am over the cold! Went mtb on Sunday and Monday to make sure there was nothing left in my lungs - it was painful but worth it.  I have done nothing but eat and drink for the last 48 hours.  I'm not proud.

The holiday was ...eh.  But I do have a new a coffee machine that grinds the beans and makes the best rocket fuel ever!

Believe it or not - this lull between Christmas and New Years is my favorite time of the year.... I will be spending hours working on what my goals will be for next year and looking back over the past year.. I love reflection.

Here is a sneak peak - I glanced back at last years posts right before Christmas -  I basically stayed the same - One year of maintaining the same weight - I'll call it a win.  

Today - I am detoxing - starting with a protein shake and baby steps.  There is a TRX class at 4:30 that I will try to make too.  I have an appointment with my Dr on January 8th...I plan on being on track and ready to tackle the year.

I'm wondering if everyone is picking a word for the next year?  Last year mine was "badass"...I liked it but am thinking of something new for 2013 -

Here are some pics of the holidays...   

Santa never stood a chance!

Santa Killer

Because I am that mature - hours of fun!

Christmas Morning Coffee....see I was drinking for 48 hours!

Christmas shopping....#classy

 

Holiday Weekend

Last Day of Work!  

I am denial that I have a cold...unfortunatley it is becoming very real - I know this by the pile of tissues that surround me this morning.... oy. 
I love reading about everyone's plans for Christmas ~ I am living vicariously through you guys.  Next year I'm going to "do" xmas.  I needed to take this year off - for financial reasons and mental health reasons...but I am missing the magic.
 As always, I am late to the party and  just discovered Downton Abby.  After watching 4 episodes in a row yesterday I started calling Mo "mylord"  and "his lordship" ~ naturally. That way of life just seems right to me....I must be from a different time.
Have a great weekend - not much to say today - just hoping to feel better soon.
Sammy and Eddie are keeping me company and encouraging me to get off my ass and get to work.

 

~ TTT ~

Ten Things Thursday x 2 ~  How to gain 5 pounds in a week and then turn it around

1.  Work out only 1x 
2. Make lots of cookies and eat them
3. Have friends over for dinner on 3 nights and make food you wouldn't normally eat
4. Eat Cheese whenever you feel like it
5. Drink a ridiculous amount of wine
6. Do not drink water - ok maybe only 20 oz a day
7. Definitely order peppermint lattes and gingerbread sugar drinks from Starbucks and binge on chocolate
8.  Work really hard every day so you have an excuse not to work out
9.  Feel Sorry for yourself
10. Eat Cookies for breakfast

THANKS FOR YOUR COMMENTS YESTERDAY!  - NOW THE REAL TEN THINGS THURSDAY - HOW I TURN THIS BS AROUND.

1. Work out daily - even just doing one thing better than the day before (I have a stupid cold - not sure how hard I can run/bike)
2. Drink water - aim for 100oz
3. Protein protein protein protein 
4. veggie veggie veggie
5. Maybe stay off the wine..
6. One moment at a time...
7. Plan for success - why do I have cookie dough in the fridge...doh!
8. Remembering that each time I make the right choice it becomes easier and I become stronger
9. How awesome it feels to have tight pants become more comfortable and even loose (even after putting them in the dryer)
10. Last week was an anomaly ....that's not even close to how I do business          
10a.  Its not about wallowing in failure - its about celebrating the ability to pick yourself up off the floor and get back to business. 
10b.  Booyah!   

WTF weigh in and party pictures

Doing the wrong thing because that's what I do - not because its what I want to do or what I should do.
In short this describes this week for me.  
I was working so hard for the two weeks before - on the wagon - no sugar - all protein and working out hard - making progress and most importantly feeling great.  Health and Head - it was game on and my soul was shiny!

After weigh in last Wednesday - I thought it was ok to to "party" a bit with the food because that was the least expensive thing to reward myself with...then I had some drinks, skipped working out and then Friday happened - and I dealt with the shock by forcing myself to overeat.   I didn't even want to eat shit food, I had no desire too, but I turned to the one legal thing I could do in the middle of the day... I thought it wouldn't pan out so well if I started doing shots at lunch time to numb the pain.  Home life has been off the chart stressful and full of fights and drama.
The fact that I would turn to the one thing that makes me feel worse and not better in this time of pain just shows how little I have learned.

Holy Shit I gained 5.2 Pounds.  How I can gain so much in one week after struggling like hell to take it off one pound at a time.  Fuck.
Last Week - 158.6
This Week 163.8

Party  Picks From our Company Party

Weekend Wrap up

So Whats different now when I go away for the weekend?  

Upon arriving at the hotel I check out the gym first and make sure to get my workout in.  Crazy...who am I?

We went to a fantastic wedding at the Bowery Hotel in NYC - coolest place ever to have a wedding.  Great food and great music...the groom plays in a few bands and has been know to play with Metallica from time to time.  John McEnroe and Patty Smyth sang with the band - they were guests - it was so cool.

Anyone ever hear of Santacon?  I have never seen such madness!  Loved it!  The whole city dresses up like Santa or Elves and goes out and gets wasted...we saw all kinds of drunken Santa...
And in the middle of Santacon there were Ortodox Jews giving out menoras and doughnuts ... it was pretty intese and awesome.

Our hotel room over looked ground zero.  Did not expect that. I'd never seen it before - we were on the 31st floor - and could see everything. 

I'm not gonna lie - I'm still on edge - after being so close to ground zero and the shooting in CT - and with the end of the Mayan Calendar...I just have an unease inside.  I may have been trying to calm that unease with Taco Bell yesterday....today I will do better. 
My heart goes out to anyone with children who has to send them to school today...I know that has to be really hard. 

Santa thinking....

Yum - Free Doughnuts!

Small santacon gathering

View from our room - ground zero

Freedom Tower

Santacon Leftovers

Chanukah car blasting music

non-band post

******Venting*******

I don't own a gun.  I don't eat meat.  If I needed to kill my food to survive...I might own a shot gun...but probably not.  I would rather eat berries and fish.

I have friends that hunt.  Its not my thing.  They eat what they kill or donate the meat to food pantries.  That's fine with me.  Again - its not my thing - I eat tofu and rice and can buy a fish or two if I want.  But if they want to eat fresh meat...thats their thing - I'm not going to stop anyone from hunting. 
  
What I don't understand...how does the general public owning semi-automatic firearms and high power rifles make anyone feel ok.  These are two separate issues - the right to hunt and the right to own military grade weaponry... I know the old argument - its people that kill people....or its my right to defend my property...okay...so how has this argument been working out for us?
I'm no rocket scientist but it seems to me that there are more mass shootings these days....
I'm sure that some people legally own semi automatic guns...not sure why? Zombie outbreak? Meth lab protection? I have known people in my past that were gun happy...they collected AK47s and other crazy weapons....they also owned four rotweilers.  Not all the guns were legal and they were not hard to get - just know the right person.....I say this because its true...They were able to get these guns in a matter of a day - and these are not the kind of people you want to be running around with this type of firepower. (I don't associate with these people any more and haven't for a very long time)
I don't feel ok.  Its not ok that sick people can have access to weapons.  Something has to change.  I understand that the guns were registered to the gunman's mother....a kindergarten teacher - because that makes sense.
I'm not ok knowing that some sick fuck can walk into a school and kill 20 kids using his mother's Glock. 

You know you need protien when..

You wake up dreaming about eating a huge breakfast full of jams and pastries...

Today - back to planning and protein, water, exercise.   

Yesterday....I didn't go totally off the rails...half off the rails perhaps..but today is the day...
There will be eggs and spinach for breakfast, chili for lunch and something sensible for dinner followed by Mountain Biking in the dark along the shore - there is meteor shower tonight that I plan on witnessing while biking.   Exercise doesn't have to be boring...it can be beautiful and fun!

Did I mention we have a wedding to go to tomorrow night in NYC? Well we do... this week has been one long ass party.  

I'm going to make some eggs.  Whats your go to food to get back on track?  

TTT

Hi.   My Favorite Day of the week...oh how I love randomness...

1.  Tonight is my company holiday party...its a big deal at a fancy country club. I  am wearing the same dress I wore to last year's awards dinner... that to me is cooler than buying a new dress.  Just being able to fit into the same dress a year later..wow - so cool!

2.  I'm pretty sure its going to be a very late night - involving a taxi ride to a friends house at the end of the nite....I'm on the fence ..I actually feel kinda wiped out and not much like drinking as if I were pledging phi beta alpha omega mooo.  But thats  subject to change

3.  I have TRX tonight - looking forward to the burn

4. Made cookies again last night and ate like crap...I basically forced myself to celebrate with food - why?  I wasn't into it but felt I should...crazy.

5. We got our one xmas decoration - a bottle of Baileys...classy

6.  I'm anti holiday - I just don't see the point of spending money on a dead tree or on a bunch of crap to give to people...bah humbug.

7.  Change is a coming to our life...there is lots of turmoil and drama here I just hope I can hang out  and make it safely to the life boat as the ship is going down.

8. I miss having money - My very close friend  does very very well for herself - I'm happy for her - its inspiring to know its possible and she is more than generous with her riches...but more wealth here would be nice...

9.  Bay Scallops - yummmmm  - mo made some last night....delish.

10.  I would like to go back to bed now.  

Weigh in Wednesday...12.12.12

Yesterday re-cap  - the rain finally cleared so I went out for a long run - I took this photo at my halfway point - 4 miles on the road total...my legs are flipping sore....I like it.

Going to Yoga this morning instead of Mountain Biking - because Mo is coming with me!
Awesome!  The only bummer is I wanted get in some serious sweating before weigh in...yesterday post run I weighed in at 158.6 - down a pound from last week but it doesn't count - lets hope it holds for today...
 
Last night we had friends for dinner - and to watch the Holiday Classic - TED (best movie ever).  Tofu curry over coco rice and spinach - I may have had some wine and I may also have made sugar cookies....er um sliced them from the Pillsbury roll...

In other exciting news I uploaded a my Garmin to Daily Mile - I'm sure I wont make my goal of 2000 miles in 2012...but so far 1512 miles ain't too shabby.  My miles have dwindled as I have added other types of exercise in and stopped doing long rides on the road because of the weather...

So....Weigh in today 12.12.12.. 

158.6~ Down 1 pound this week! Saying no is paying off - protein protein protein - water water water! 
 

 

Whats in your pleasure circle?

Over on the youtube - I watch a channel called proofWLSworks. Each week they ask a question and every day a different vlogger answers it. 

Last week they had a great question that I thought I could answer here in the blog world.  

The question is as follows: Please share with us what your pleasure circle is filled with, minus food. What are the things in your life that you use to fill yourself with love, happiness, joy, peace, comfort, motivation, inspiration, courage, hope, power, and satisfaction?

As a food addict, I use(d) food to soothe, celebrate, create happiness, fill voids, and for just about any emotion or occasion.  Now 20 months post op I am learning that it is just fuel.  So what makes me happy? What brings me Joy? 
I would have to say in no particular order - Mountain Biking, spending time with friends and running.  I get so much joy and peace from being outside and using my body as the machine it was meant to be.  I am inspired and get courage and love from my friends and my husband - not melted cheese.  I would rather spend my time hanging out with others and doing activities than eating.  
There is still a hole where I used to shove food but is shrinking now.  There are times when everyone is heading out to dinner or to a big lunch and I remember how I used to get so excited to chow down....it makes me a twinge sad but then I remember how fun it is to spend time talking to people and developing relationships instead of love handles....

So whats your joy?