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Saturday, April 5, 2014

3 years - post op - my anniversary

3 years ago today it was April 5th 2011-

I had done liquids for 7 days and I would have only consumed clear liquids all day today in prep for the big event.

I was so excited, nervous, determined, done with what I knew, hopeful and ready to begin a new life.

Its only been three years since I got my lap band and yet it feels like a lifetime. 

Have I been successful? 
The short answer is yes.  I would consider it a success as the main reason I went forward with the band was to ease my depression.  I was suicidal at the time and the surgery was my last hope.  I was done with the battle at the time.

I also knew that I needed to change my image for work.  The truth about my industry is that people don't respect or trust you if you are a schlubby mess.  Which, at the time, I was.

Am I happy that I got my band?  You bet.  I regret nothing and am thrilled that I now know what its like to be a healthy weight and to eat well.  

Where am I now?

As you may know I am currently battling re-gain.  35 pounds of regain to be exact.  
The good news is, I'm turning this around slowly.  I continue to believe that the universe makes us repeat lessons until we get them right. 

Its no longer all about my food, my exercise, my weight, my drama, my cravings, me me me me.  Its about living life and being healthy.  Not all or nothing and then beating myself up.  Its about functioning within guidelines.  

I'm identifying triggers and trying like hell to let them pass until I am actually hungry - the big ones for me are - confrontation, dissappointment and annoying people. 

The most recent discovery has been eating more paleo and staying off of processed foods, sugar and non veg/fruit carbs - this has blasted away cravings... 

Where am I going?

Hopefully I'm heading toward more of the NOW.  Because Now, I'm happy, healthy and in love with my husband.  This moment is pretty perfect.  I'm trying to hold on to it without squeezing too tight that I keep change out. Because change is always good. 

What do I know for sure?
Exercise is the key.
Finding a sport you love and going for it is the best way to stay exercising.
A number on the scale does not define me - its a way to measure progress, or lack there of.
Slider foods are EVIL and you can gain 35 pounds with a band that is tight. 
Falling into the social butterfly trap had a lot to do with my regain. 
Protein and Veggies.  Protein and Veggies.  Protein and Veggies. 



Christmas 2012 - 156

VT 50 2010 - 215

Valentines day 2012 158?

Before and after
This week ... 192.

7 comments:

  1. You are gorgeous before and after:) Keep eating Paleo! I promise, it will be worth it:):) Onward to more awesomeness than you have already achieved!!!!

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  2. I agree with Leigh...beautiful before and after. Happy Anniversary! My 3-year RNY anniversary is next Friday, the 11th. Time flies! I am also battling regain. But I agree with you. We repeat lessons until we get them right. We'll get there. For now, celebrate your successes...you have many. Cheers to you, Vanessa...you banded WARRIOR! :-)

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  3. I just can't believe it has been three years. You inspire me everyday! You are a success! And ou look beautiful in all your pictures. You are a badass and I know you will kick the regain in the ass.

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  4. 3 years...wow! Congrats! I can totally identify with everything you are saying. The regain battle is not fun, but totally worth the effort and I will continue to fight, because there is no way in hell I'm giving up on myself!

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  5. You are beautiful! Congrats on your anniversary and keep up the great work.

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  6. Beautiful lady!! I'm so proud of you. You have come from a dark place into the light...that is a big deal. You should continue to live the life you are destined to live. Virtual hugs to you.

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  7. Pretty girl!! I'm glad you are happier now because you deserve it. Way to fight for it, my friend!

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