Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Day 2 - Blog Every Day in July

Day 2: Educate us on something you know alot about or are good at. Take any approach you'd like (serious and educational or funny and sarcastic)

hmmm. what do I know a lot about. Biking!  and Mountain Biking!

I began biking at 240 pounds and my bike cost 300 bucks -  I picked Mountain Biking because I didn't want anyone to see me...and because of that, I found the one thing that gave me freedom.
I thought some of you might be interested in starting to here is an intro to MTB by Moi!

First of all - you don't have to wear spandex!!! That is bullshit.  I wear baggie bike capri's or baggie shorts over lined bike shorts - and I look cool as hell, most days.
The Chamois - this will save your ass.  Literally.  Its a fancy french word for ass padded shorts.  Now, you are probably all "But V, my ass is huge, don't I have plenty of natural cushion."  No, no you do not.  Shockingly I found out the hard way that I have two pelvic bones that can pierce through layers of fat like daggers.  The Chamois (shammy) is your friend - find a good one and wear it.

Next borrow a bike and a helmet from someone you know to be lice free and generous.  Grab a water bottle and ride like the wind.   Do this 3 to 4 times over the next week or so then ask yourself, "Self, do I enjoy the wind in my face and the freedom of an eight year old?"  If the answer is yes  then march your chamois clad ass down to your local bike shop.  Start a conversation with one of the professionals there about a suitable bike.  If the answer is "shit no, this has been the worst week of my life and my ass feels like I've been violated by an angry flag pole"  then return the bike and helmet to your louse free friend and save that chamois for the days of incontinence ahead.

There are few key things to note when bike shopping - fit is most important - this will be your bike for the next year or two - it will be a low end, heavy, beast of a machine - but it will give you more hours of joy than 50 Shades of Grey and a family pack of AA batteries.  But I digress... A bike that fits you right makes for a good time- one too small or too big will make you hurt.
I started with the Trek 3700 - and Rode that bad boy AKA Lamar (I name all my bikes) until he flat out gave up and combusted - two years later - then a major upgrade was necessary.  

You WILL Fall off your bike on the trails...I still have a crash from time to time.  Just take it easy in the begining ~ tranquilo my friends ~  you will have some bumps and bruises but thats part of the fun - battle scars! 

I fell in love with biking and would ride 6-7 days a week.  It was always an adventure - picking new trails and seeing new sights - it helped that I rode with a friend who was also just learning.
Once a week we would ride with a group that is way better than us.  There were times I thought I would puke up a lung and pass out..but I never once regretted those rides..they only made me better.

So go to the bike shop - ask if there are any beginner rides in your area and if not - grab your phone and a trail map and start exploring - you may find something wonderful or just yourself!

***I could go on and on but will cut it short - if anyone has any questions about biking feel free to leave a comment below with your email and I'll respond**


  1. Tx for sharing... and I Love this July posting idea, I am stealing it...

  2. Oh man! I've been dying for a bike, but being a city girl living in Brooklyn, I get scared of dying. Scared of getting my bike stolen (be it parked or me getting pushed off and having it stolen). Scared that I just might not be a savvy enough rider to manage these mean streets of NYC. Any thoughts on city riding?

  3. I like riding, too. The sore ass only lasts about a week then you toughen up. I've always been afraid on trail biking though, mainly because of my severe lack of balance. I tend to stick to sidewalks & pavement. Thanks for the info though, I may look into this further!

  4. you had me laughing - with you, not at you. I only wish it wasn't 120 degrees here and that we had somewhere pretty to ride (that isn't across town)

  5. I have a question - do you wear underwear under your bike shorts? I've been biking more lately and I've been thinking it would be more comfortable without underwear, but I'm also like "is that weird?" :)

    I have a road bike and this past week I know I've let out squeals of delight and a couple of "wheeeeeee"s (while going downhill, of course). The positives definitely outweigh the negatives!