Monday, October 31, 2011

Weigh in, More photos and a challenge

I know I should be measuring my milestones by NSVs and obstacles overtaken, races done and the like, but dammit that flippin scale rules me.  So to embrace it and take that bitch down I am challenging myself to reach 149 by Dec. 22 ~ the day before we head back to Ireland.  There is just something about the 160s that is pissing me off.  And the 140s look real nice from here.
How am I going to do this ~ you may ask?  By following the rules! and tracking the muther F out of my calories and being brutally honest.
I am adding a few extra pix from yesterday and I had my Mo take one of me this morning ~ I hate all of them. Well maybe not the one of me bundled up in a scarf.  I am so disappointed with how I look.  In my head I think I am much smaller and then when I see the pix I get so frustrated.  It might be b/c I hang out with women that are elite athletes and have 0 body fat and are sizes 2-4.  urgh.  Not that I want to be that small ever ~ I love having curves and yes some junk in my trunk ~ but I'm still just always surprised by the pictures.

So I guess this post could be considered a rant... ~ should have put this at the top as a warning.
Happy muther flippin monday...Weigh in 164

This was this morning ....10-31-11 164

Thats me all muddy in purple

Super Athlete and me (in scarf)

The girls at Serpents back race  ~ What the frig with this? 

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Mountain Man ~ the race that never was

I spent yesterday  resting and binging on oreos Carb loading getting ready for the race today.  We got an email from the race director late last night ~ see below

"Somebody just sent me an E-mail asking if MountainMan was cancelled for tomorrow.
 Ha, I told them, IT IS Mountain Man.

Sounds like the roads will clear by the time you all wake up.
Might be some extra snow at Lewis Morris.
Your trusty trail crews will be there extra early to assess the situation,
There may be some changes.  There will be Beer. 
It looks like the weather will be fantastic by the time the race starts.
Did I mention there will be Beer?
And Hoodies,
And prizes,
And Rocks,
Awesome bagels,
Other munchies,

Bring warm boots, remember, “Your soles are the window to your soul”.

So the race was ON!  6 am I met my crazy friends at the bagel shop and we piled 7 bikes, 7 people and tons of gear into the suburban and off we went to Jersey.  The roads got snowy and icy in toward NYC and I was getting a bit apprehensive about racing ~ I decided that it would be best to just hike the run and only do the bike if it didn't look too bad.
After 2 stops for coffee, 1 stop for the bathroom, 1 mad dash to Wall-mart for sneakers (it wasn't me who forgot her shoes :), we arrived at the race.  There was about 5 inches of wet snow and there in the parking lot was the race director talking to the state police.  
This did not bode well.  Did I mention the race is 130 miles from us?  

So after a cup of joe withour race sweatshirts in hand, we piled back in the truck and headed back east to ride a trail closer to home.  
The day was a blast! I was covered in mud and grinning ear to ear.  Lots of laughter, dirt, one separated shoulder ~ man vs tree, and one lost phone later we headed home Guinness in hand.
The race may be rescheduled for Nov 12th ~ in which case its ON ~ AGAIN!
I have some pictures below of the gang and the bikes...none of me..funny that.  Will post some soon, I promise
At the race having some coffee before we head back

Muddy dirty bikes after our ride

Doesn't look like enough snow to cancel a race in my opinon!

Friday, October 28, 2011

2 Days until Mountain Man!

Holy shiz...I'm getting nervous.  I feel under prepared for the run and am hoping my shoulder is going to be good to me on the bike.  I rode hard on Tuesday with a friend of mine and then went out after dark with my Mo for a cool down spin.  I ran on Wednesday on the road and it was a struggle.  Since my bike is in the shop today getting tuned up ~ I plan to go for a nice 5k in the trails this afternoon and take tomorrow off (since its going to muther effin snow ~ what the balls?).

Sunday morning we are leaving about 6am and plan to be in NJ for 9:30 for the race.
So far so good over the past few in my water and have been laying off the sugar.  Those youtube girls are truly a life saver ~ if I had a web cam I'm sure I would be on there too ~ maybe one day.
For now ~ happy Friday and I'm wishing you all a kick ass weekend full of fun.
I'm hoping to have cool race photos to post on Monday ~ or at least a picture of my race sweatshirt ~ b/c lets face it ~ that's why I race....

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Its on! ~ Edited

Its no longer about peanut butter and being vigilant.  Its full on war.  The ugly sugar addict and chubby girl have taken over.  Yesterday was a complete FAIL.  I did get in two mtb rides ~ the only highlight of my day.

First of all Thank you to Lap Band Girl for posting the band removal video this morning.  This really scared me shitless.  I had a big binge yesterday and have been trying to turn it around.  After seeing that video it really struck home that I need to put on my big girl panties or Athena's Battle gear and take this more seriously.  I have been depending on the band too much to stop me.  Its on vacation when I make poor decisions ~ so its up to me.
Truth is, I have a sugar addiction.  When I am off the wine ~ I am on the sugar.  This must stop.  I know life is not all or nothing but right now it has to be.  

I'm gonna be in a bad way today around lunchtime so I may be reaching out to a few of you for moral support today.

~ New Edit ~ Just watched Bandedwendy and Blakkandi's videos today!  Just what I needed .. a good kick in the ass and some warrior chicks who have won the war!!  Booyah!!!  

Each moment, each decision is a battle.  If I start to win a few, I can win the war...

Battle of the Giants led by Athena

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Dirty Little Secret

I have one... and its name is generic peanut butter.  I keep in the house b/c it goes in my morning shake.  But after this fill it is now a slider food for me.  I think its time to break up with the PB and switch up my shakes.  

This week has been rough ~ totally stressed out with work/friends/lack of daylight and time management BS.  But the good news is I have been sure to get my running and biking in.  The bad news is the Band does not fix my emotional eating and I have to be vigilant going into the winter and fueling with the right foods...not peanut butter and desserts.  
The scale is still at 168 hallelujer! 
Mountain Man is less than a week away,  I'm going to take it down a notch going into this race and have a few rest days before Sunday.  Mantra for the rest of this week:


Friday, October 21, 2011

IT's BAaaaak

I swore I would be able to stop it.  I had a plan.  I was going into battle ...and now it's back ~ and too soon.
Winter is knocking at my door.  The sun doesn't greet me at six anymore, it waits until after 7 and it runs away from me too early at 6:15pm.  Urgh.  I am now Slothra!

I think my original plan (August 16th) for battle was something like this:

  •      Have a trip to warm weather planned ~ probably going to Jupiter FL to visit my in-laws ~ this will     be cheap and easy ~ just how I like it
  •      Get snow shoes ~ just in case we have a snowy winter ~ so I can still get outside
  •      Take vegan cooking classes in NYC a few times
  •      Go to NYC to visit friends
  •     Have something to look forward to
What are some things that you guys do to deal with Winter Blues?  Other than moving to Colorado or South America?  Any ideas would be much appreciated!
Happy Friday!!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

8ccs and a whole new world

Ahhhh ~ tight band = first time I've had to chew and pay attention.

So for the first time I got stuck.  wow ~ so thats what it feels like!  I was snacking after dinner on a veggie sausage and voila ~ no go! So now I know there is a different feeling of full that I need to pay attention to.  
I think I'm walking the line of being too tight / just right ~ its up to me to behave and see that I can work this out or maybe take .5 out.

I am taking a page from Dawnya this week and going to create a meal plan to make sure I am eating the right stuff and enough food to fuel my work outs. I have not been paying attention at all to what I am eating and have not been eating enough ~ I get really dizzy when I stand and had no mojo on my bike yesterday.  The good news is ... I've not been drinking wine all that much (cheezy weddings - don't count - how else am I supposed to dance)

Training has been going pretty good ~ trail running is slow going and terrifying at the same time.  Biking has been awesome ~ I have been trying to ride with the boys b/c they are fast and it forces me to ride outside of my comfort zone.  Unfortunately this also means that I have been crashing A LOT  ~ twice on Sunday and then yesterday as I was blasting downhill trying to make a sharp right I flew over the handlebars and landed on my shoulder.  It really hurts.  I'm hoping no major damage was done.

I didn't do an official weigh in this week ~ but I did see 166 on the scale...Will see if that holds on Monday.
Today ~ I'm using the rainy day to come up with a food plan that works for me and my new tight ass band.  The rest of the week looks like this:

Wed ~ rest day
Thur ~ 2 hrs MTB Rocky point ~ moguls/dirt park
Fri ~ Boot camp
Saturday ~ Trail run/Bike/Trail run
Sunday ~ MTB 2 hrs 

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Week wrap up and some photos

So here are some fun facts after going to the Dr for a fill

1: I have 8ccs now...after the fill she said "be careful - it might be really tight"  It was all I could do not to say "that's what she said" ~ I'm so mature..
2.  She was right ~ my band is super tight ~ and I like it!
3. My fat % went from 49.6% pre-op to 36.4% ~ soo cool
4. Fat mass was 119.8 pounds and now its 62.2 pounds ~ really cool
5. BMI went from 40.1 to 28.8 yesterday! Whose yer daddy??  oh, I am!

Riding on the beach for a vista cruise ~ one of these days I'll get a full picture up

This week was pretty super. I'm getting back on track with life in general.

  • Stayed off the wine 
  • worked out a bunch 
  • Decided to race Mountain Man in NJ on Oct 30th ~ peer pressure is a bitch and I really want another race sweatshirt.  This time I'm doing the run and bike (2mile run 10mile bike 2mile run)   I've been back in the woods trying my best to stay upright and not sprain my ankle again running
  • I really like riding with boys and chasing them through the woods ~ small ego boost and tons of fun
  • Last night I rode in the rain and then sun came out making the best double rainbow ever ~ I know it was Andrew  (crappy blackberry photo ~ but u get the idea)

That about sums it up ~ I have a pot luck dinner tonight with all my peeps ~ I'm bringing tofu/coconut rice
Lets hope I can get some solids in...

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Monday (tuesday) Weigh in and Goals

Starting the accountability again..
Here goes...Weigh in 168 ~ 6.6 pounds loss since 9/12 ~ given the emotional roller coaster I've been on ...not too shabby.

1. 100 oz of h20 daily
2. Cook 2x this week ~ new recipes.
3. Work out 6 days ~
4. Find another race to do this year...(Schiff Scout Nov 6th)
5. Go for a Fill on Friday
6. Stay OFF the wine...

Exercise plan for the week:
Monday ~ night mountain biking...Went with the boys and rode hard ~ woo 2 the double hoo!!
Tuesday ~ run 5K ~ hills ~ done
Wednesday ~ Day off
Thurs ~ MTB
Friday ~ Boot Camp/run
Saturday ~ MTB afternoon
Sunday ~ MTB ~ Sunday mass with the real fast riders ~ see if I can hang on

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Race Day

Pre- Race ~ me and Jeanine

Today was the Serpents Back race in honor of my friend Andrew. 2.5 Mile Trail Run, 12 Mile Bike 2.5 Mile Trail Run.
True to form ... I drank 1 too many bottles of wine last night at the pre-race party and felt like total Ass this morning.
Through the first climb in the "Valley of Death" my head was banging a la red wine, and my legs were groaning a la boot camp on Friday.   Then something happened, at the top of the climb I was actually feeling pretty good and starting to pass the guys.  After another mile I threw it in the big gear and let fly, picking off other riders along the way.  Total ego boost blasting past men while shouting woo hoo in my girlie pink top~!  

1 hour and 10(ish) minutes for the 12 mile bike portion of the race! Damn it feels good.  I didn't win anything today but am still on a high from passing the boys and actually realizing that I am pretty fast dammit!

 Today I felt Andrew with me ~ he would be carrying on about "fucking hammering it" or "Blasting past people" or "having lungs in your legs" and we would have ended the day with a beer at "the bloated tick" (our nick name for our imaginary bar).
Missing him today...big time.

Post race in our Serpents Back Race hoodies!

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Angry Riding...

As you all may know I am all about MTB.  Lately I have been going through a tough patch and have been riding my bike rather aggressively.  This is good and bad.  The good is that I'm faster than ever and dropping weight again.  The bad is that I'm taking a lot of risks and crashing more often.  
Now in the past when I would get angry or upset...the answer was always food until I felt sick.  Now it seems the only outlet I have is racing through the woods blindly until I feel totally spent and almost sick. 
This seems all well and good except that now when I drive...I am driving the car like I'm on the bike...
Super cool for rally racing...not so cool for driving around town....
For all those in the UK ~ I am the Stig...and yes that is on the Subaru.


Friday, October 7, 2011

The PLAN>>>

One day, one moment, one decision at a time...
Yesterday was a big day for two reasons...First it was my 9 year wedding anniversary with the the greatest man on the planet.  Second it was my six month anniversary with the greatest decision I ever made ~ my lap band.  How do I celebrate?

With Pizza, a brownie sundae and an attempt at fried oreos with nutella.....
It was one night ~ all decisions I made consciously, and fully aware that it was an "occasion".  The fried oreos were gross and  I only had 1 anyway.  This will not be the diving off point for an all out binge.  What am I going to do today to make sure that wont happen?

1.  Protein Shake and lots of water with chia seeds
  1a.  run with dogs on beach
2.  Veggies for lunch with beans
3.  Boot camp tonight 
4. be determined...
5. Wine ~ 1 glass 

Every day is an opportunity to move forward....

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


Trying to find normal.....Its been 3 weeks, 2 wakes, 1 funeral and 2 weeks in Ireland.  Not to mention countless bottles of wine and bottomless pints of Guinness.  You can read about why here.  He was the kindest, most genuine, and just the best.  We were a big family.  I can't even begin to go into the feelings, pain and what we have been through.  That's a whole other topic, blog and genre. 
So trying to move forward, and keeping with the weight loss and lap band theme here goes.

Stats ~ 6 months since surgery ~ down 71 pounds and wearing a size 12 

Ireland was the most magical, healing place.  I am not eloquent enough to describe the country and the people, I can just post some pictures and say that I have a whole new perspective on life ~ and the bullshit doesn't matter anymore.

We managed to run every day through the rain, sun, wild winds and rainbows ~ I drank all my calories and only ate bread ~ tofu is a myth over there ~ so are beans.

Back home and back on the bike I am prepping for the Serpents Back Dualthalon on Sunday ~ it is now in Andrew's honor ... I am only biking and have someone running for me ~ I just don't have it in me .. he was the one who taught me how to run the trails. He taught me so many things, biking and racing and compassion to name a few. 

So ~ as for the band ~ its tight.  My clothes look good and food is not the problem ~ its my heavy heart that is the problem.  I have been flirted with with, checked out and hit on over the past 3 weeks.  I have sat in an airplane seat with plenty of room around me.  None of it makes me feel joyful.  

Went to a TRX class last night and am sore as hell today ...its the first class I took indoors with mirrors all around the room ~ just cruel. 

These are my Jackie O Hangover/mourning glasses...they rocked.

Me and Andrew ~ miss you Ghosty...