Wednesday, October 5, 2011


Trying to find normal.....Its been 3 weeks, 2 wakes, 1 funeral and 2 weeks in Ireland.  Not to mention countless bottles of wine and bottomless pints of Guinness.  You can read about why here.  He was the kindest, most genuine, and just the best.  We were a big family.  I can't even begin to go into the feelings, pain and what we have been through.  That's a whole other topic, blog and genre. 
So trying to move forward, and keeping with the weight loss and lap band theme here goes.

Stats ~ 6 months since surgery ~ down 71 pounds and wearing a size 12 

Ireland was the most magical, healing place.  I am not eloquent enough to describe the country and the people, I can just post some pictures and say that I have a whole new perspective on life ~ and the bullshit doesn't matter anymore.

We managed to run every day through the rain, sun, wild winds and rainbows ~ I drank all my calories and only ate bread ~ tofu is a myth over there ~ so are beans.

Back home and back on the bike I am prepping for the Serpents Back Dualthalon on Sunday ~ it is now in Andrew's honor ... I am only biking and have someone running for me ~ I just don't have it in me .. he was the one who taught me how to run the trails. He taught me so many things, biking and racing and compassion to name a few. 

So ~ as for the band ~ its tight.  My clothes look good and food is not the problem ~ its my heavy heart that is the problem.  I have been flirted with with, checked out and hit on over the past 3 weeks.  I have sat in an airplane seat with plenty of room around me.  None of it makes me feel joyful.  

Went to a TRX class last night and am sore as hell today ...its the first class I took indoors with mirrors all around the room ~ just cruel. 

These are my Jackie O Hangover/mourning glasses...they rocked.

Me and Andrew ~ miss you Ghosty...


  1. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend! I'm glad you got to go to Ireland! Sending prayers your way!

  2. Keep hanging on my dear! I am so very sorry. Hugs!

  3. I am sorry to read about your loss, Vanessa.. Know that you and your friend are in my prayers.. (((hugggsss)))

    Thank you for posting your beautiful pictures..

  4. So very sorry, Vanessa. He clearly was a special human being. How blessed to have been in one another's lives and hearts. Hope you find the sparkle in life again when it's time.

  5. ((hugs)) I am so sorry. I hope many wonderful memories of great times with him bring you peace and comfort.