Thats all Folks!

I've been thinking about this for a while...
I started blogging about two and half years ago.  I made some great friends and learned a lot along the way.  Got tons of support and was a cheerleader for many bloggers.
Its just not the same now.  I no longer wake up excited to share my life.  In fact, its become quite boring. Not much has changed here - I'm still working on myself, trying to loose that last 30lbs, and living life.  
I'll check in from time to time, but for now I'll say a quick adios.  
I'm happy to email - just drop a comment below and I'll respond as long as you are not coming through as a no-reply@blogger.

Getting the lap band saved my life and help me to lose over 65 pounds.  I only wish I had done it sooner.

My last words of wisdom - find some form of exercise you love to do and do it daily - you will not succeed without that piece of the puzzle.  Also there will come a time when you test your band and start feeling like you have come very far and why not indulge in something you haven't had in a while.   I beg you to wait...wait until goal when you can manage "cheat" foods... Just get there first and then experiment. And build a support system.

You won't regret it - get out there and live! 

Athena Banded Warrior June 26, 2011 - November 8, 2013

TTT on Friday

1.  Post Vacation blah has set in....booo

2.  I had another one of those dreams - relating to my friend.  I'm trying not to flip out too much or tell them too much about it but I did let them know that everything will be fine yesterday after they had a minor scare....they are surrounded by love and they need to know that.  These dreams are freaky, and I don't know if I'm helping or not by telling people about them.  

3. Halloween - I had the sugar

4. Back in the Saddle today.  Mo said he is getting up early to make me breakfast...we'll see. Its almost 7 and I have to leave for work at 8..so far no movement from the bedroom

5.  Miss Lorie gets married tomorrow!!  Woo hoo!  So Happy for her - bummed I couldn't make the wedding but I'll get to visit in June.

6.  Mo is working on his first commissioned painting - its coming out great - I'm really proud of him

7.  Eddie dog is lame...not sure what happened but he is gimping about and if it doesn't get better over the weekend, he'll have to go to the vet - fooey

8.  Random - when we flew out to Utah - I noticed from the air the farm fields are round...here they are square...anyone know why?  I guess I could go to the google..

9.  Looking forward to running and starting training for the Yellowstone Half - I'm giving my ankle another day or so of rest first...that epic vacation didn't do it any favors...

10.  Went for my first night ride of the season two nights ago - solo in the woods- perfection and bliss.

A week of Bliss...

We just got back from a week in Utah - Spa food - amazing.  No Binges and each day full of mountain biking, hiking and meditation and few massages.  I could live that way.
Not having to think about food and plan for it was huge - the food was all healthy and tasty with small portions (mo needed more food) but for me it was perfect.
I came home 3.5 pounds lighter - go vacation!
Here is a run down of what we did
Day 1 ~ short bike followed by a hike
Day 2 ~ Epic hike the narrows river in Zion - Amazing 3+ hour slog through the river..(ankle did not love this) 
Day 3 ~ 3 hour mountain bike ride and then a hike
Day 4 ~ Road Bike ride and then an afternoon of hanging out
Day 5 ~ Mountain Bike Ride and Hike
Day 6 ~ Road Bike Ride and Mountain Bike in the afternoon 

My favorite thing about Utah is the complete stillness of the rock - I spent a lot of time just being still and sitting on top of a petrified dune up in a canyon and being still - one of the very hard things for me to do at home.

Inside the Narrows

My spot

The Lava Lawn

Mo

The Chad - our bike guide

Seriously - double rainbow - amazing

My Brain....just sorting it out on the blog

.....an inner rant....

My Head is so screwed up.... 
First lets talk about addiction - yes, sugar as we all know is a drug...I've been known to go through the trash, sneak candy, buy bags of it and pretend I'm going to party and that its not for me, hide wrappers, pig out in the car while driving, drop chocolate on my lap and be all "DAMN now I have a chocolate stain on my crotch, cant hide it, or DAMN I just sat on a piece of chocolate and have a stain on my ass.  That kind of addiction.
The kind where - it doesn't even taste good - I am just seeking a high and then ultimately the crash.  Am I craving that feeling where I get to beat myself up and start afresh?  Am I addicted to that feeling?   Or the low?  Its hard to tell.
I would say 90 percent of the time I feel like there is a worm inside me that craves the sugar and its not me..its that parasite that has taken over.

So yes - the number one problem is sugar in my life...but then I get brain freeze - over how to eat.
Organic juice?
Vegan?
Vegetarian?
Paleo seems to work best but I just can't eat meat...It repulses me.
No Carb? Low Carb?
Gluten Free?
Dairy Free?
Organic foods raised by nuns who only wear white in rainbow covered fields?
GMO free?
Locally sourced?
In season only food?
Cook all meals at home and pack lunches?
Never go out for a drink? 
All of the above?

and then my brain explodes and I feel guilty for not eating "righteously" and I eat some crack, watch tv and the cycle starts again.
Can you tell my brain without exercise is a  bad bad place? Overwhelmed with decisions...

The good news is - UTAH vacation full of hiking, biking and self care is right around the corner....the spa serves low cal super healthy food and I think its Dry there so no wine temptation.

So that's where my head is today.... I'll say this for my goal today.  Start with kitcheree or a green juice
and avoid anything with an orange wrapper that says Reese's 

Ten Things Thursday and a weigh in that is bascially a fail

1. My Ankle is getting better...slowly the swelling is going down and I'm hoping to go for a spin in the woods before we leave on Monday.

2. Leigh is my hero in many many ways:  The commitment she makes to healing her ankle is amazing!  I forced myself to sit with my foot up and rest for two days...its so hard to be still

3. Mo is now starting his art career!  So happy for him...although its an adjustment having him home all the time....

4. We booked our hotel for the Yellowstone Half ~ I would encourage everyone who is doing the race to book their hotel now (Hollee!) they are filling up fast!

5. Our government finally got its shit together!  Zion, Bryce and Grand Canyon will all be open when we go on our adventure!  woohoo!

6.  Operation no scale has backfired in a horrible horrible way...Mo bought a new one and I got on it last night...I'll wait to get on it again once I can get back to exercising because the # I saw was horrific...180.4 = 35 pounds gained from my lowest.  

7.  This article is very interesting - Sugar is Crack as far as I'm concerned

8. I know that there is a place I can get to where balance can be achieved. It involves being sugar free, gluten free and cheese free.....Apparently I have the same type of addictive behavior as your garden variety crack/meth/coke addict. 

9.  I refuse to write a blog post where I say that I will start again, write a plan down and then not follow it.   I just cant do it anymore.

10.  Utah in 5 days!!!!!!  The dogs have our good friends staying here while we are gone - I just can't kennel them - they are way too spoiled..S'mai doesn't understand places with concrete floors and no couches to sleep on.
 

Getting better...

 Work yesterday....one of my favorite houses on the ocean...Marine Blvd...the house is so 80s but I would take it in heart beat if I had 7M laying around

 

Uh oh

So there's that.

It started out as a great ride yesterday - fall colors and good company in the woods. Then I wrecked on a rocky climb and rolled my ankle.  Booo.

I'm on the injured list until we go to Utah..bummer.

 

Lazy Appliances

I wonder if anyone else has this happen to them.
Our microwave takes the summers off.  This has been a three year cycle.  She started working again on Monday. Thank god because I am psyched to have my Amy's dinners again.  The damm thing always stops working in June and then like some divine miracle starts again in the fall.  
Why don't we get a new one? Because ours is built into the cabinets over the stove and I know how trying to remove it will end....with a broken cabinet and a cheap replacement on the counter.
So there's that.

Mo and I are mtb after work today....night riding with lights again - I love it!
I've been all over the youtube watching videos for UTAH ~  Gooseberry MTB - its going to be epic...I even had a dream I was on vacation last night! 
 The boys want to hike Angels landing, I'll pass on that - looks terrifying! Hiking the Narrows is going to be amazing and then I'll focus on biking.
Active vacations rock! 

This will be me in 10 days!

 

Ten Things Thursday ~ on Friday

1. Week 1 no scale still... not sure if this a good idea or not... I've been looking in the mirror more and really trying to "see" my body...

2.  I love being strong and fast - but sometimes it would be nice to just be thin...I know, silly statement but I am JEALOUS of my skinny Best Friend..she is a beautiful tall blond and can wear anything...I can out run her, out bike her and am much healthier than her.  At times I would trade all of it just not to be a ice cream eating sugar junkie...

3.  # 2 is just a stupid statement....

4. HOLY Shit - going to Utah in 11 days...So excited!  

5.  Those fools in Washington better get their SH together...its ridiculous.  I'm hoping Zion will be open

6.  Thanks for the prayers and good vibes - grandma is just fine!

7.  Gonna go for a chilly run this morning...then a MTB ride after work

8. Yesterday some of my oldest and best girlfriends and I went to the NY Botanical Gardens in the Bronx - it was great - a beautiful place and I had so much fun spending the day with these women!

9. Trying to actually see yourself is really hard ~

10.  Mo is done with his Job in 3 days!  Then on to being a full time artist!  Its a happy and scary time.

Evening ride...

Post ride drinks - and photo bomb by my MTB boyfriend

Winter

Spring

New Goals ~ not weight or body related

I don't know about you guys but I have found over the years that if I write down a wish list of goals and then put them away in a notebook and forget about them, they all come true and I somehow achieve them.  

Last night we saw Rush...Best Movie Ever ... I love formula 1 racing...most days I imagine myself driving a race car..(insert image of me in subaru impreza power sliding around corners).  Most days I drive my little sick shift like I am a pro driver...So going to the movie last night reminded me that one of my long term goals is to Rally Race... 

Adding that to the list for 2014.... stay tuned to see how it happens.  
First I've got to research rally schools and learn how to drive on dirt...cant be that much different from mountain biking...ha!

Today - I'm heading out to the trails to run 5K shortly and will probably go mtb later today.
Two weeks till vacation.  Yes! 

My grandma is in the hospital....so any thoughts or prayers would be appreciated.  She is 88 and one hell of a lady.  I hope she is in for a short stint and back home soon but my gut intuition is that its not good, I know she is tired and puts on a brave face for all of us.  I would want her to know that its ok if she doesn't want to keep fighting...this afternoon I'll head over for a visit.

That bitch up and died...and race details

Yes - I don't know if its a sign that I shouldn't weigh so often or if my girth killed her - but our scale (aka flat faced bitch) has died.  I switched out her batteries and still nothing...so any advice on a good scale that doesn't cost and arm or a leg and will tell me I'm skinny would  be most appreciated.

Yesterday was the 10th annual Serpents Back Race in Montauk.  Epic.  Its the fourth one I've done.  I do it as a relay - because lets face it - I like to win things and wouldn't have a shot if I did it solo.

Lots of fun yesterday - my friend did his first race and is now hooked...he wants a list of more races to do.  My brother in law and sister in law did a relay and had a blast too.

The race was brutal but fun - there is nothing like a post race beer and pizza...

It was also our 11th wedding anniversary - I was exhausted after the race so we did take in Japanese and then I passed out....sorry Mo

Looking forward to training for the yellowstone half in June 2014 
Miss Lorie is signed up and so is Hollee  at Hollee's Weight loss adventure!

Here are some pics from the weekend! 

Winner Winner!

Winning women's relay team!

 

Me and my Sister in law

Ten Things Thursday

1. My Mo is in a bad mood...I hate it when he is cranky...puts me in a bad mood too...not sure why I let it effect me so much

2. Yesterday was super beautiful - I didn't work out - instead went to the beach and chilled for sunset..

3.  My scale up and died yesterday - at first it said 0.0 when I got on...the  it went to "E"  - is that E for elephant? I did put new batteries in and will weigh later...

4.  Hoping that a deal I am putting together goes through...being the bread winner is stressful ...maybe thats why I'm turning to ice cream often

5.  This Gov't shut down is rediculous.... I'm going to be super pissed if Zion is closed when we go... Makes me wish we had a fabulous monarchy with a kind and fair king who just did the right thing....

6.  My skin is so itchy...winter skin is back...not sure why or what it is but every year I get these itchey bumps through the fall...I think its summer withdrawl...

7.  Tonight is a trail run followed by biking the race course...booyah!

8.  Not much else going on here....just beating myself up for poor food choices... status quo 

9.  Off to take the dogs to the beach

10.  Someone mentioned to me that they were part of a challenge where you have to spend 30 minutes a day moving around outside.... I couldn't imagine spending less than an hour a day outside!  But apparently there are "indoor" people...who only see the great out doors walking to and from their cars... and have to schedule outdoor time...the horror!
 

~ Here we go ~

I'm in!  Running it with my two sister in laws and Miss Lorie (you better sign up girl)...I don't know whats come over me but we all signed up!  Thanks to Terry for turning me onto this....its gonna be an adventure for sure! Stay tuned for my training posts...I'm also excited that this will be mostly off road..my favorite type of running!

Right now I'm focused on the race this weekend - its more for fun but I want my time to be around 1:10 for 11 miles of biking.  Totally do-able.

Its going to be 85 and sunny here today...impossible not to go to the beach...we have a noon appt for work then I'll move onto beach mode...

Food is out of control again...but I'm working out like a boss...so hopefully that will off set today's weigh in..I had a nightmare that I was back at the beginning... its possible and I've got to make sure it doesn't happen.

Last night we had a post work beer and hang out at the beach with the dogs, some friends and their dogs...it was perfect..

I think my dogs are the most beautiful animals on earth...I guess that's how people feel about their kids..
 

 

 

 

Let the Countdown Begin

Whats the best way to be sure I get my exercise in? 
Plan a vacation that requires me to be able to ride my bike at least 4 hours a day and hike 13 miles one or two of the days...game on!
I love the fall here - I've been biking every day...food (I can't talk about) but the exercise has been good.
Yesterday I ran the trails with my sister in law and today I'm heading out to ride the race course with my Brother in Law..
Here are some photos of this week: 

 Montauk Trail ~ PreRace Prep

 My Bike Buddy

 Post run Clams and Beer...because that makes sense

 Roadside Dining

 Best recovery food...