Friday, December 23, 2011

Tossing my cookies....

On my way home today I stopped and bought a small package of 3 cookies.  Back to my old ways and started to scarf them down before I reached the house.  I ate one and half cookies then fucked the rest of them out my window at 45 mph.   I'm just a cranky ass honey badger today.  I know that was a small victory but it doesn't feel like it.

It has come to my attention that I shouldn't drink anymore.  This makes me sad ~ no food to celebrate with and now no Drink.  Ah, balls.  Last night I had 3 glasses of red wine ~ not my max by far ~ I then proceeded to spend the night tossing  and turning feeling thirsty and uncomfortable.  I just can't drink anymore and I certainly can't over eat to numb myself.  How to make it through the next two days....
I know it should be about spending time with people and the experience of it all.  But these are family holiday gatherings, THE Superbowl of stress induced drinking!  The last time I participated in one of these sober I think I was 10 years old. 

Ah, enough bitching.  I just made two ice box cakes ~ they are pretty much my favorite ever.  I'll be bringing them out to Christmas Eve dinner and will try not to devour them before.  

Today ~ I rode a horse and am nursing my hangover before I head to boot camp ~ I am long over due for an ass kicking! 

Wishing this Christmas was magical ~ but its just not.
Ho Ho Ho Ho 


  1. Oh, Vanessa, I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better.
    You have come so far this past year and next year will even be better.

  2. Oh you poor thing. Hang in there. Thinking of you today!

  3. I too need to ditch the drinking-bloody wine,Anyhow will be Christmas in 10 minutes here, so Merry Christmas to you, and may we both get through the family function tomorrow!!

  4. Good for you for tossing out those cookies! Sorry the holidays are hard, but hoping you can still find joy in the little things! Merry Christmas!