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Friday, December 23, 2011

Tossing my cookies....

On my way home today I stopped and bought a small package of 3 cookies.  Back to my old ways and started to scarf them down before I reached the house.  I ate one and half cookies then fucked the rest of them out my window at 45 mph.   I'm just a cranky ass honey badger today.  I know that was a small victory but it doesn't feel like it.


It has come to my attention that I shouldn't drink anymore.  This makes me sad ~ no food to celebrate with and now no Drink.  Ah, balls.  Last night I had 3 glasses of red wine ~ not my max by far ~ I then proceeded to spend the night tossing  and turning feeling thirsty and uncomfortable.  I just can't drink anymore and I certainly can't over eat to numb myself.  How to make it through the next two days....
I know it should be about spending time with people and the experience of it all.  But these are family holiday gatherings, THE Superbowl of stress induced drinking!  The last time I participated in one of these sober I think I was 10 years old. 

Ah, enough bitching.  I just made two ice box cakes ~ they are pretty much my favorite ever.  I'll be bringing them out to Christmas Eve dinner and will try not to devour them before.  


Today ~ I rode a horse and am nursing my hangover before I head to boot camp ~ I am long over due for an ass kicking! 

Wishing this Christmas was magical ~ but its just not.
Ho Ho Ho Ho 










4 comments:

  1. Oh, Vanessa, I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better.
    You have come so far this past year and next year will even be better.

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  2. Oh you poor thing. Hang in there. Thinking of you today!

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  3. I too need to ditch the drinking-bloody wine,Anyhow will be Christmas in 10 minutes here, so Merry Christmas to you, and may we both get through the family function tomorrow!!

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  4. Good for you for tossing out those cookies! Sorry the holidays are hard, but hoping you can still find joy in the little things! Merry Christmas!

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