That was then

I got to thinking the other day while out on my long run. As one does. The difference a year can make. Not just in the scale or clothes, but in language. The language I use with friends and my inner dialogue. A year ago when I would use the word "half" it was usually a half of a bottle of wine, or half of a pizza. Now half means half marathon or I only had half of a slice of pizza or half of a sandwich or half of a pound loss. 
"Time". I use to wonder if it was time to eat, or Time to open a bottle of wine, is it time for dessert? How much longer do I have to run..will this time pass quickly? Now time is something to Improve upon. 
 Speed ...didn't exist to me. Now I want it. I use phrases like "speed work" Splits and negative splits.. I want to be fast, I am thinking about speed  more than "is my ass all jiggly when I run" "are people staring at the fat girl?". Now when I run I actually think about form..and performance...what ? 
 A year ago if you told me that I would make a plan with a friend that went like this: "wanna run in the morning?". "sure, 5 @ 8:30 ok?" "what pace?" I would have said what language are you speaking? This was my text from last night..and that is what I'm about to go do..run five miles in the trails with a friend. I used to meet friends for brunch and spend lots of TIME thinking about ording muffins or pancakes, I would eat with SPEED, and not PACE myself and I would worry that my jeans would SPLIT or the chair would not hold my weight. I would never eat just HALF of a bagle .. That would be crazy! So..that's the difference a year makes in language...and my inner voice no longer shouts You Are Fat and Lazy. It cheers me on to go faster and live! I am a lucky girl....what a relief to have shut that voice down. Words are powerful especially the ones you speak to yourself.