2012 Goals and Word

2012 ~ Starting out 80 pounds lighter than 2011 ~ epic!

What are my goals for 2012.....mmmm:


Make Money ~  I have to put this at the top ~ right now broke even looks good ~ I am sub broke ~ like po. I have spent the last year focusing on myself and putting my fitness first and work on the back burner. 
 ~ Starting 1/2/12 ~ I will be in the office at least 5 days a week from 9 to 5 or something like that (real estate is really flexible)
~ If I have not made $$ by May 10th I will toss in the towel on this career and get a real job, le sigh.


Get to Goal Weight by 1 year bandiversary 4/6/12~ 139  ~ I am 22 pounds away and this is killing me.  
~ Starting 1/2/12 ~ Back to band basics ... protein first, water water water, chew chew, listen to my band and portion control


Get Faster ~ Races
~ Run a sub 30 5K 
~ 666 Race bike Run bike 
~ Half Marathon off road 
~ Schiff Scout Race Series 4 Races ~ off road
~ Firecracker 8k ~ 4th of July Weekend
~ VT 50!!!
~ Serpents Back Duathlon 
~ Mountain Man Biathlon


New Clothes/Makeup/Hair ~ this is all dependent on #1 ~ make money ~ cuz right now it ain't pretty...


Embrace my word and live it~ Really ~ like be secure in who I am and don't give a shit (honey badger) what others think.  The road ahead may get really bumpy this year but its cool because I'm rollin' off road anyway.  


My predictions for 2012 ~ 
I will reach my goal.
I will make a bucket load of money
I will take a new path 
I will have a ton of fun!



My Word Our Word ~ Dawnya and I are sharing~ I mentioned it on Tuesday but here it is for real:

Badass aka ~ Honey Badger  1.Adjective: Used to describe one who totally owns who he/she is, is uninhibited in who they are and doesn't let what other people think affect his/her actions/decisions. 2.Noun: A person who is the best of the best at what they do professionally and/or personally. Being a Badass goes hand-in-hand with being self confident, secure and uninhibited.

Weigh in ~ the aftermath!

Start ~ 241
Last Week ~ 159.8
This Week ~ 161.2
Gain ~ 1.4 


This is better than yesterday!  Back on track now.  Went out for what I thought was my 6 mile trail loop run and now that I have Garmina 305 it is actually 5.4 miles ... oh well ~ still not too shabby.  I burned over 600 calories this morning!  
Today is the LAST Christmas party I have to go to!  I will not drink or overeat.  
Its that time of year where we all start thinking about goals for next year and what we have accomplished this year.  I'm working on my list for 2012 and basking in the glow of 2011 ~ down 80 pounds ~ and I would have to say I now consider myself an athlete.  Mission accomplished.


As for coming up with a word for next year ... I'll try and stay away from the urban dictionary and keep it clean ~ I'm toying with 

Badass	66 up, 23 down
	1.Adjective: Used to describe one who totally owns who he/she is, is uninhibited in who they are and doesn't let what other people think affect his/her actions/decisions. 2.Noun: A person who is the best of the best at what they do professionally and/or personally. Being a Badass goes hand-in-hand with being self confident, secure and uninhibited.

Christmas is OVA!

Its done.  Sinara! See ya next year!  All in all it wasn't that bad.  We had a killer Christmas Eve at my friends house and I traded in the red wine for vodka and (lite) cranberry juice.  Not too shabby.  I ate so much that I thought I might explode but alas I did not and managed to wake up on Christmas in one piece.  Santa (my inlaws) brought a Garmin 305! Woo hoo!  I tried it out this morning on my 5k loop ~ super cool!  


We went to my parents for dinner and it was pretty tame except for my Grandmother's girlfriend flipping my dad over in a rocking chair and the both of them ending up in a pile on the floor.  ~  Pretty funny.  Oh, and then there is the Holiday Axe ~ my parents are yard sale/antique junkies and picked up this little ditty for 5 bucks~ it is now dubbed the "Holiday Axe" as it was decorated in holly over the hearth ~ who does that?  


On the food front ~ I am repenting for my sins ~ my stomach is sore today and I'm on liquids/soft foods to make it right ~ I weighed in +3#! Holy shit!  So we'll see what the official  # is tomorrow but I'm not surprised, it wasn't pretty.  Today I ran and am heading out soon for  MTB with Mo ~ nice an easy to enjoy the afternoon.  Tonight ~ more soup and NO LIQUOR.

Yep ~ its the "Holiday Axe"!

Tossing my cookies....

On my way home today I stopped and bought a small package of 3 cookies.  Back to my old ways and started to scarf them down before I reached the house.  I ate one and half cookies then fucked the rest of them out my window at 45 mph.   I'm just a cranky ass honey badger today.  I know that was a small victory but it doesn't feel like it.


It has come to my attention that I shouldn't drink anymore.  This makes me sad ~ no food to celebrate with and now no Drink.  Ah, balls.  Last night I had 3 glasses of red wine ~ not my max by far ~ I then proceeded to spend the night tossing  and turning feeling thirsty and uncomfortable.  I just can't drink anymore and I certainly can't over eat to numb myself.  How to make it through the next two days....
I know it should be about spending time with people and the experience of it all.  But these are family holiday gatherings, THE Superbowl of stress induced drinking!  The last time I participated in one of these sober I think I was 10 years old. 

Ah, enough bitching.  I just made two ice box cakes ~ they are pretty much my favorite ever.  I'll be bringing them out to Christmas Eve dinner and will try not to devour them before.  


Today ~ I rode a horse and am nursing my hangover before I head to boot camp ~ I am long over due for an ass kicking! 

Wishing this Christmas was magical ~ but its just not.
Ho Ho Ho Ho 

Weigh in

Start ~ 241
Last Week 159.6
This Week 159.8
Gain +.2
Total Loss 81.2


Ok ~ this is not bad ~ I slipped into my old ways over the weekend and tried to cheer myself up with cookies, chocolate, sugar and eat my way through boredom and just feel sorry for myself.  
NO MAS!  ~ I am thankful for a minor gain and not waking up at 241!
I feel like writing on a chalk board 9000 times ~ a la Bart Simpson ~ I will not use sugar to soothe myself
~ I will not use sugar to party ~ I will stop thinking happiness is a cookie.  Ok ~ enough.
This is what my week looked like 
Wednesday ~ MTB ~ 12 Miles and a friend's Birthday dinner ~ with cupcakes/wine
Thursday ~ 5 mile trail run ~ and Dinner @  friends house ~ wine/cupcakes/brownies
Friday ~ NYC ~ taco bell extravaganza and wine and Ferrero Roche situation
Saturday ~ Sloth like day~ situation with cookies/chocolate and ate like crap!
Sunday ~ MTB and Trail work ~ dinner at Sister in law's ~ chips dips and fudge
Monday ~ Mac n cheese for starters....cant even discuss the rest of it.


Tuesday ~ today ~ ran 5 miles in best time so far and felt great! Riding horses this afternoon.


 I can turn this around.  I know why I'm so out of control and it has to do with money ~ or the lack of it.  I am feeling poor as hell and sad about it.  But on my long run today I got to thinking ~ as one does ~ and realized I am already having the best Christmas! So what if I don't have a tree or gifts to give people.  I have my health ~ I'm able to go out and run through the woods and feel alive.  I have the greatest husband and the best group of friends anyone could ask for.  I need to remain in this moment and not allow the commercialism of this holiday bring me down.  I'm just happy to be here!


Moving Forward  ~ the plan for the week


Today ~ KISS ~ keep it simple stupid!  Shake, greek yogurt, soup, shake
Wednesday ~ Mountain Bike 
Thursday ~ Run/Bike/Weights ~ Have a B-day Dessert to go to ~ will have to plan to eat some cake
Friday ~ Boot Camp
Saturday ~ MTB ~Christmas Eve ~ going to our friends house ~ big Italian dinner ~ going to focus on protein ~ making ice box cake for this ~ mmmmm
Sunday ~ Christmas morning ~ Mo and I will go for a long MTB then have brunch and dinner with family
Monday ~ Run/Detox
Tuesday ~MTB ~ and another party


Wish me luck!

Weekend re-cap

Friday night ...oh yes it's ladies night! Oh what a night. Ha! 
I went to NY with my best friend from high school and her wife. Holy laugh fest! I think it counted as an ab workout because we cracked up the whole time! Went to the Bowery Ballroom to see some great music..including Booga Sugar..one of the best bands ever! I learned that taco bell and I still have a relationship but there is no way I can eat my weight in burritos any more. That was a good thing.


Saturday I skipped working out ..two days in a row! What was I thinking! Feeling sorry for myself that there is no christmas at our house this year, I went grocery shopping I decided I would find the Xmas spirit in a bag of homemade cookies. Urgh! What the frig! 


Sunday Mo and I did trail maintanence and chopped down some big trees blocking the trails. It would have rocked except I pulled my back out trying to lift a huge tree...who do I think I am...the hulk? So rather than taking another day off ..I went out MTB and really aggravated my back. Yes, that is a short bus parked outside my house. So this morning, when I saw 19 degrees and my lower back is on fire....I canceled my morning trail run. Urgh! 


It seems that when I have milestone on the scale there is always a bounce back up because I go on and have a party with food to celebrate my victory. How sick is that! I saw 158 on the scale thursday morning...I'm pretty sure that it won't be there tomorrow for weigh in. 
Enough of the rambles. 
Today the party ends and I'll just have to walk on the dreadmill and baby my back.
 In other exciting news...I got new handlebars for my single speed and the say "SPANK" in big letters on the front. This makes me smile.  Also, I've been blissed out watching you tube videos this weekend ~ bandedwendy and some of the other girls are doing twelve days of videos for Christmas. Newtoy4kt celebrated her two year bandiversary with a great video and a photo montage. Super inspiring to see. 
 Happy Monday!

Lust on a Friday Morning...

Ever want something so bad that it hurts...to see it brings tears to your eyes...to think of it puts a smile on your face and you start to get all flushed and once you taste it there is no going back...
I'm talking to you Nutella.  I see you mocking me from the shelves in the store.  I fantasize about you, me and a big spoon.  I know the slippery road, but damn you are a fine jar of smooth chocolate nutty heaven.
I just want to be alone with you ~ where no one can judge us ~ not even me.  I wish I were strong and could be around you without having to devour you in one afternoon...but I can't.  I must remain the stable adult that I have become.  I am someone new now.  I have will power, and taking you home with me will only lead to regret and guilt that I will not stand for.  
So I settle on a compromise ~ just a smaller less dangerous version of you.  All wrapped up in a pretty innocent package. I think ~ hell ~ there are only three in the package how much damage could it do.  
 Yes, I'm talking about your suave sexy cousin with the fancy clothes ~ Ferrero Rocher.  All dressed in his shiny suit with layers of hazel-nutty goodness.  Damn!  Its too much.  I just wanted a nibble, a taste and now here I sit..he is gone leaving only a sassy wrapper for a memory.  I tried to deny him but I am a weak woman.  Ah well tomorrow is another day.  I will not feel guilty.  At least he is classier than my last love ~ Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. 
Cheers!  Happy Friday! 

That was then

I got to thinking the other day while out on my long run. As one does. The difference a year can make. Not just in the scale or clothes, but in language. The language I use with friends and my inner dialogue. A year ago when I would use the word "half" it was usually a half of a bottle of wine, or half of a pizza. Now half means half marathon or I only had half of a slice of pizza or half of a sandwich or half of a pound loss. 
"Time". I use to wonder if it was time to eat, or Time to open a bottle of wine, is it time for dessert? How much longer do I have to run..will this time pass quickly? Now time is something to Improve upon. 
 Speed ...didn't exist to me. Now I want it. I use phrases like "speed work" Splits and negative splits.. I want to be fast, I am thinking about speed  more than "is my ass all jiggly when I run" "are people staring at the fat girl?". Now when I run I actually think about form..and performance...what ? 
 A year ago if you told me that I would make a plan with a friend that went like this: "wanna run in the morning?". "sure, 5 @ 8:30 ok?" "what pace?" I would have said what language are you speaking? This was my text from last night..and that is what I'm about to go do..run five miles in the trails with a friend. I used to meet friends for brunch and spend lots of TIME thinking about ording muffins or pancakes, I would eat with SPEED, and not PACE myself and I would worry that my jeans would SPLIT or the chair would not hold my weight. I would never eat just HALF of a bagle .. That would be crazy! So..that's the difference a year makes in language...and my inner voice no longer shouts You Are Fat and Lazy. It cheers me on to go faster and live! I am a lucky girl....what a relief to have shut that voice down. Words are powerful especially the ones you speak to yourself.

Weigh in and update and nsv

Start ~ 241
Last Week ~ 161.2
This Week  ~ 159.6 BOOYAH!
Loss 1.6!


A recap of this week:
After two days in NYC and not working out I got my ass in gear.  
Thursday went for a 5mile run
Friday ~ Bootcamp
Saturday ~ Mountain Bike 14 miles ~ SS
Sunday ~ Mountain Bike ~ 17 miles ~ ss
Monday ~ Rode a horse and jumped two courses
Tuesday ~ Ran 6 mile loop on the  trails ~ 4 minutes faster! 1:06


Food has been good 70/30 percent of the time.  I have been focusing on protein and water and that seems to be doing the trick with the hunger.  


Yesterday was great~ I rode my favorite horse - Jay Z .  I haven't jumped a course in years and yesterday I ended up doing it twice.  It is so much easier to ride and control my body without all the excess weight.  And I'm sure the horses appreciate it too! 


Its not even 9:30 in the morning and today already kicks ass ~ My run was beautiful this morning ~ Started out @ 30 degrees and the trails were coated in frost ~ it was the most beautiful peaceful and sparkly winter wonderland.  There is nothing like the peace and sanity I find in the woods.  I kept the 159.6 from Sunday....boooyah~ hoping to make 155 by January 1st...slow n steady now...
Oh and for the NSV  ...drumroll.....here I sit..wearing JCrew size 8 corduroys...holy shiz!
All of the Jcrew hand-me-downs that I have are numbered weird...like 31s, 30s, and 29s...I googled the conversion and wouldn't you know I'm in an 8...so from a size 22 Lane Bryant to size 8 JCrew... what tha what!  I want for nothing this Christmas... well maybe a garmin 305...


So looking ahead ~ I have lots of dinners, parties, and adventures over the next week.  My plan is to max out the exercise ~ do shakes, yogurt and soups when I am not at an event/or dinner party and keep it simple...low cal high protein and try to drink more water than alcohol...:)
Happy Tuesday!

Sunday Mass, NSV and photos

Yesterday we had a huge turnout for the morning ride  Sunday Mass.  About 30 people showed up from as far away as 2 hours ~ wow!  Driving 2 hours to ride the trails I use every day?  It gave me a new appreciation for our beautiful trails.  We did 17 miles out to the bluffs and back.  That was a long ass ball kicking ride on the single speed but damn it was worth it!  
After the ride we had cookies ~ they were awesome!  It was the first time that I ate cookies in public and went back for seconds without feeling the gaze at my back ~ you know the one where people look at you like "should she really be eating that? No wonder she is huge" Yep! NSV ~ not feeling self conscious eating in public.  
Then there was a SV ~ I know its not my weigh in day but damn if I didn't see 159.6 on the scale ~ just had to share b/c then I proceeded to eat two slices of pizza and various other things that I cant bring myself to write here (malomars, cheese and wine) WTF.  So we'll see if this glorious # sticks around for tuesday's weigh in.   

yes ~ those are whoopie pies filled with peanut butter

Me, the Single Speed and the Subaru ~ all is right w/the world

Huge turnout!

No shame in eating these cookies!

Hi There!

Yes, I have been MIA for a few days.  No reason in particular ~ life is not that exciting .  I have been doing the usual biking, running and boot camping.  I have been reading all your blogs just trying to keep it to an hour a day.   Food has been good.  I've been doing shakes and Greek Yogurt during the day and having regular dinners.  And staying off the wine.  Kicking  up the protein a notch ~ a la Bandedwendy  seems to be helping my cravings a lot.  


Did I mention how much I love my Single Speed Mountain Bike?  I do!  Today we have a big ride with a group of gals from out of town, it should be a blast ~ except its flippin balls cold out ~ like 30 degrees...eeek.   Should be ok once we get going.


I wouldn't say I'm depressed, just numb.  The holidays this year have no spark. I'm not decorating or doing gifts ~ no cash to blow.  Its a bummer.  The light at the end of the tunnel is,  I have deals that should be paying out in February.  A few months late for x-mas so maybe we'll celebrate valentines day in a big way.


Oh and I have a big night out in NYC coming up this Friday!  My cousin's band (wormburner)  is playing the Bowery Ballroom Christmas  Show with a few other bands that I love.  Booga Sugar actually played our wedding ~ they rock some hard core 70s tunes ~ so I'll be dancing like a Solid Gold Dancer ~ HA!  My best friend from high school and her wife are coming with me ~ its going to be a silly laugh fest and I can't wait!  Two trips to the big city in one month ~ dang!


Happy Sunday Everyone!  Stay warm and enjoy. 

Yes - I used to watch the solid gold dancers when I was a kid ~ no wonder I have body image issues!

New York City...

How lame is it that we live so close yet can never pull it together to go there.
So Tuesday Mo dragged me in.  I am in the middle of trying to get a deal together at work and am super stressed but I'm glad he got me to go.  We stayed at my cousin's place in the West Village ~ and stay far far away from Midtown!  
I love the village, love the cobblestone streets, the old buildings, the trendy hipsters, the cool shops and food I can't find out where I live. 
I have a fantasy that we own a brownstone on Perry Street and have enough money to shop in the trendy shops ~ now that I am able to fit into the trendy clothes. A girl can dream....
We went to the Standard  Hotel and had a drink in the bar on the 18th floor ~ the views were sick ~ Out over the Hudson and then a big view of the Empire State Building. The bar is very 1950s and it was great to people watch and listen to live jazz.


***disclaimer ~ I forgot my camera and it was pissing rain ~ so these are not my photos ****

The bar at the Standard Hotel

We walked the Highline up to Chelsea to my favorite vegan restaurant, Blossom!  The Highline is an abandoned elevated train track that runs through the meat packing district ~ now an urban park. Don't miss it if you go downtown ~its pretty cool.

After dinner we walked back down to the village. I am the gifted one in the family when it comes to understanding where we are and reading maps ~ so Mo often follows blindly as I weave through the streets and wander about.  I love taking a different way each time we go somewhere ~ this totally screws him up and its funny when we arrive at our destination to see the look of surprise on his face.  :)

We met a friend for breakfast over by Washington Square Park and then had plans to go up town to an open house on Park that he was holding...but I ended up having to race back out East to get my deal back on track  ~ the reality of real estate is nothing like House Hunters on HGTV ~ so there went our 24 hour escape...but before leaving we had to go to BABYCAKES!

I'm not sure what happeneds but as soon as I hear vegan, gluten free, and made with agave...I think it means made without calories....uh oh...So after a creme filled cookie and two cupcake tops and a variety of other cookies I am committed to liquids today.  

If you ever get to NY and get downtown on the east side ~ Babycakes is a must go ~ I have the cookbook but its def not the same.

Now I am back home ~ my deal seems to be back on track ~ and work is busy.  All good things.

I missed working out two days in a row and feel like a bloated tick.  Strange how two days missed can make you feel like you took a month off.  I ate like I had no band~ I was definitely pushing the limit and have to get a grip. Today I got up early to read some blogs, post and work out before my day goes crazy.  Thanks Cat for the motivation!

I'm going to have to crack down these next few weeks and only read/blog first thing in the morning and not daydream and read blogs throughout the day when I should be working....

Plan for today ~

Run 3 miles in the woods ~

Liquids. 

Weigh in

Last week 162
This week 161.2
Loss of .8 ~
I'll take it!

Been busy with work and riding my new Single Speed ~ holy killer workout!
Off to the Big Apple today to bum around the village and have some awesome dinner at Blossom!
I'll have a recap of the adventure in a day or so.

BYOC ~ on Saturday

It's FRIDAY so that means it's BYOC - Bring Your Own Crazy! Brought to you by the one and only Drazil! We answer a couple of questions in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break! Copy and paste and answer in your own blogs if you'd like!! ENJOY!!

1. Describe the structure you live in. (apartment, condo, house, mansion, cardboard box?)
   House. It's one story, about 1400 square feet. Its small and modest, not what you would expect in the land of McMansions of the Hamptons ~ but I love every inch of this house.  We have lived here for over 10 years and the dogs are kind enough to let us stay.  Favorite feature of the house...Doggy door and fenced in yard... oh, and my kitchen!
   
   
2. Describe the city you live in. (population, main attractions)
   I live in East Hampton NY the end of Long Island.  It used to be a fishing and farming community but it really is a resort area now that attracts celebs and billionaires so its lost a lot of the charm that brought them here in the first place.  In the summer I would guess the population is over 35,000 and in the winter I would say about 10,000 but, I'm no census taker.  Most of the jobs are recreation/tourism related and a lot of the "regular" people leave here in the winter too to follow the jobs south.
   
   
3. Why do you live in the town you live in? (job, to get away from a different town, family, schools?)
   I live here because my husband's job is here and we both grew up in the area.  We are lucky enough to have our house ~ got it before the "Boom" and you cant beat the natural beauty of the beaches and trails ~ especially off season when you have it to yourself!
   
   
4. What’s the view like from your backyard?

   Woods ~ and deer and turkeys 

   
   
5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.
   In real life, Things have been really good. Scale moving south, Got my new bike this week! And I think I'll be getting paid soon. :) So I'm hoping that makes for a good Christmas.  Oh and going to NYC this week for a few days to see the lights and bum around the village and dine at some killer restaurants!
   
   
   In blogland, I've been reading and commenting a ton and been pretty good about blogging ~ It really keeps me on track and I am loving all the support from you guys! I also am a youtube stalker and am inspired by bandedwendy and newtoy4KT ~ love those ladies oh and Sarahwillbeskinny too

I hope everyone has a great weekend. I'm off to work and hoping to get a MTB in or a run before the pain of Boot Camp Last night sets in!

Expecting....

Love that I have been reading about everyone recommitting for the last push of 2011. Hey, the way I see it...we are soooooooo far ahead for all those New Years resolutions! Love the idea of setting a goal and über goal....so here is mine for the month of December: 155 by 1/1/12 that's 5 pounds in a month...totally doable. My uber/stretch goal is 152 thats 8 pounds....I'll be happy either way or even in the middle....I smell goal for my 1 year anniversary...4/6/2012.
Today is my rest day from working out, so I'm off to ride a horse this morning...I love when the day starts off at the farm! It makes the rest of my day seem doable and who doesn't love a giant brown fuzzy horse nickering to you? 
More good news...my wicked awesome super star husband tracked down a sweet new (to me) mountain bike. Yep a Gary Fisher Rig 29er Single Speed ...no gears! I have been wanting one for a long time and it's hard to find them in a small frame at a good price...thank you eBay! I'm expecting the arrival next week....I guess this is how people feel when they find out they are pregnant. Such joy!