TTT - on Friday

1. - yep I'm a day late
2. - Nothing new in life - except   its hot as balls now....
3.  Got my bike all tuned up for Vermont ~ woo hoo!
4.  Trainer 3 days in a row was a horrible idea..I can barely move
5. Food situation is horrible but it is what it is
6. 170.6 
7.  Mani Pedi and color touch up today....lunch time emergency
8.  Friday night plans - meeting a friend at the ocean for a sixer and some girl chat...so excited
9.  S'mai and Ed want to go to the beach for a swim...the thought of walking right now is over whelming...
10.  I am bored with blogging.  - there I said it.

Is it Tuesday Already? Photos n stuff

Where have I been?  

I've been having a weekend rest.  Gasp!  After Saturday I headed for the hills (aka - my house) and hibernated.  The chaos of a rainy cold memorial day weekend was not about to effect me.   Yup - I managed to take off Sunday and Monday...well, I worked a bit on both days but never left my 'hood.

I binged on two things - Arrested Development and vegan cupcakes....moderation plan=fail but having a much needed rest - win!

Yesterday my best friend and I did an epic 26 mile mountain bike adventure - getting ready for Vermont trip in less than 2 weeks!
I can't wait to get the heck outta here.  This morning I have my amazing trainer - bring on the pain.  Update - trainer just left - I might vomit.  Feels so good.

Weigh in - 166.6 yesterday.. getting better.

Here are some photos from this weekend

Trail

What tha??

 Traffic

Fox Den

Half Way on 26 mile ride

Bestie

 


 

TTT

1.  I came down with a cold - it sucks.  
2.  If you looked up Shit Show in the dictionary it would show this week.
3.  The horror of Memorial Day Weekend is upon us...where NYC will empty out and they will all come to the Hamptons - Now I can't hate on it too bad because that's how I make a living but boy...it really is hard on the nerves - with traffic jams and entitled people
4. Trainer this morning - bring on the pain 
5.  My new bed time is 8:30...not sure if I'm regressing or turning into an old lady
6. 5am wake up is getting easier
7.  I will not turn to food when life is stressing me out
8. Maybe I should take up smoking pot
9. But then I would have the munchies and would eat more
10.  urgh.
11. Two weeks from today - I'll be in Vermont - mountain biking!

Tuesday ~

Boom  - its here again.
I'm finally un sore and now its time for the trainer again...oy.   That's a good thing as I had a very bad food day yesterday and the weekend wasn't great.  No wine so that was good but yesterday was a shit show.  Brought on by a panic attack.  My biz partner decided to send me an email saying he was going to take off the month of June and spend this week planning the vacation.   I'm suck a sucker and started hyperventilating and sobbing hysterically.  
Only to have the next email tell me he was fucking with me...not nice.  
I was freaking out so bad Mo thought someone died.  It triggered a full on binge to calm down.... 

Seriously Panic hysteria - proof

Today is another day to start fresh - I'll post a weigh in later too - but since last week I was down 4 pounds yesterday - we'll see how bad the damage is from yesterday

In more exciting news - the cleaning people came yesterday - holy crap.  Game changer!  Best money we ever spent. Its almost better than winning the lotto..

Yes thats a deer taking a dump on out lawn - they are such honey badgers

Working Hard

I. AM.  SORE.

Rolling over is a project this morning.  Yesterday was core work and that man killed me... Plank plank plank plank....and much more.

But I feet great.   I'm sick in the head and I love feeling sore. 

Yesterday I was up again at 4:30am - Trainer at 5:45 - then I ran 1.5 miles on the beach with the dogs to shake out the legs.

Work was insane yesterday and I was so stressed - you know what that means for the band - tight - I had "lunch" at 4:00 - frozen fat free yogurt..with the sprinkles...I know it was the only thing that would go down.. and if I buy it at the ice cream shop - I won't have a whole tub of the stuff at home.  But again - I'm learning that all or nothing doesn't work for me - I'm allowing myself to have what I want - in moderation so I don't feel deprived..strangely its not triggered a binge..

Post work - Mountain Bike "Vista Cruise"  - up to the bluffs with my buddy - It was a 2 hour ride..so relaxing - I 'm pretty sure I was in fat burning zone - not cardio....which is nice.

This morning Mo said I'm getting smaller....I think this trainer idea is working out!

Enjoy today and move your body - thats what you have it for...otherwise we would be built like blobfish....just sayin'

View from the Bridge Gof course

This happened and it was awesome!

vista cruising

For Rockband Barbie!

Sad state of food..no groceries!

Groundhog in a tree - found this morning by Sammy and Eddie....

TTT

1.  Its effing warm out

2. Today is the greatest day ever - hiring a cleaning person - cheaper than a marriage therapist - and I've finally accepted that I work 7 days a week and if I happen to get a day off I will not spend it cleaning!

3.  Sooo sore this morning - going for an easy mtb spin

4.  Sunshine makes me a happy girl!

5.  I  was given an insanely fancy/expensive coffee machine for Christmas - I have a hate hate relationship with it - the coffee tastes like ass and I have too much guilt to toss it in the closet and buy one of those neat and tidy kurig machines...head case?  Yup

6. - 167 after easy spin in the woods

7.  My Target heart rate is 105-155...I'm always up at 165-185 when I MTB..it was very hard to keep in the zone this morning - I felt like I was slacking and not doing much.  Apparently to burn fat you have to work in a different zone..not cardio..so confusing

8.  Work is nutty...I have a closing on Friday of Memorial Day weekend - its going to be a cluster fuck between all the traffic and drama...

9. Tomorrow I have core training - I'm sure I'll vomit

10.  Food has been good...yesterday I had half of a Starbucks cookie and skinny mocha -and didn't end up binging - go me.

new bike socks!

Dogwoods blooming on the trail

Its 4:50 am...what are you doing?

I'm up chugging coffee getting pumped for training!

Yesterday was the first session - 6am - like a boss.   We ran from the house to the beach and did plyometrics.  It was great - except my true spazz came out ...I may be able to ride a bike like a beast but when it comes to footwork and coordination - it aint pretty.  Oh well, something to work on.

This morning is total body conditioning ... operation tone up flabby arms, butt and belly.  I'm sore as balls from yesterday but looking forward to getting more sore.  

Its awesome when its 7am and you have already finished a work out.    Was I in bed at 8:30 last night - you bet your ass I was.  Did I turn down an invite for drinks with friends?  You bet.

Food yesterday was good - there was a weak moment when I was going to meet a friend for frozen yogurt - but she canceled and the moment passed.  My trainer is keeping track of my food - he wasn't all that bothered by the frozen yogurt from time to time...I guess that takes the pressure off a bit.

Here's to getting back on track and operation get to goal sometime soon.

Committed

Three mornings a week at 6am outside on the beach - I will be working with a trainer.  I'm so freaking excited!  
Its time to reach my goal, and obviously I need a bit of help getting there.  

I was explaining the band to my trainer during our consult..and he was like..."let me understand this...it makes good food hard to eat but junk food is easy for you to eat?"...huh ..when you say it like that it sounds kinda dumb...I told him it was more than that but yes, basically that is right.

He asked what I wanted out of the training - I want to finally reach my goal weight and get stronger - less floppy and fit back into my 8s. 
  
Saturday dinner was great - I didn't pig out - but then wound up out for the night with friends - and it was a long long late night

Yesterday, went mountain biking - I heart my bike! Then family dinner at a yummy Italian restaurant- yep got stuck on a garlic knot..no fun - but still managed to get down a hunk of carrot cake...

There is no stopping now - right to goal - which to me is 145! 

This may have led to me getting home at 9am yesterday...whoopsie.

What hangover ? I ride therefore I am

The overlook in Montauk

Is it Saturday Already?

Daaaang! 

So far this week has been the one where I turn it around - yes, last week  saw 172.4 on the scale...thats a kick in the ass.

Yesterday I was heading back to normal - 168.4 phew!  I've been making riding my bike a priority lately.  Thursday ended with an epic fail in the rain - tire shredded and for some reason I had the wrong size tube with me - so had to walk out of the woods and be rescued by Mo with the car.  Its part of the deal...

Last night - I fixed my single speed and went out for a hard ride with friends - four left and three came back...we had a man down with a crash and banged up knee..hoping today he is feeling better.
I forgot how much I love my single speed - better work out and more fun!

On the food front - its been good - no binges...which makes me happy and no sugar which makes me cranky...
Tonight I have family mother's day dinner...oy, god give me the strength....I'll just leave it there.

 Tire Fail!

A friend gave me this shirt - it has the ladies on bikes in bikinis and it says - put some fun between your legs....love it!

70 degree day yesterday - the ocean

my bike shop - trying to fix both bikes... got one working

S'mai after her bath giving me the stink eye

Ed - drying in the sun.

 

TTT

1. - Got my ass out of bed  @ 5:30 to go mountain biking at 7

2. - I just have to put my head down at this point in my life and work work work - I've accepted that

3. - That doesn't mean I get to blow off health - just have to work smarter at it.

4. - Its seems like the universe has been stepping in daily when I want something sweet and making me too busy to stop what I'm doing to go buy a snack..thank god!

5. - Had a few minutes yesterday so I went for a mani- pedi.  Toes - Bright Blue - Nails - Tiffany blue...

6. - I weighed in the other day - 172. holy shit - not a good holy shit.

7. - My friend says there is an inverse relationship between making money and gaining weight...I hope he is right

8. - Gov. Chris Christie got the lap band - I'm psyched for him! 

9. - Taylor Swift's video - I'm feeling 22 - makes me want to punch things....or go drinking...nah...punch things....every morning its on VH1 - almost makes me want to go back to watching the news...

10. - Have a kick ass day.

One Day at a Time

I'm still here.
Still pushing day to day.  Work is off the hook in a good way - All I ever asked for is happening, almost like being in a slipstream.  Although overwhelming at times...its all flowing in the right way.  Its hard to explain - like the universe has just lined up everything and all lights are green.  Like I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.
 
I still struggle with the balance.  Having no days off makes it really hard to keep the house, dogs and yard...and now the damn grass is growing.  Dammit!

Two nights in a row I went MTB and had a blast.  My best friend and I are going to Kingdom Trails in Burke, VT in June for a Mountain Bike mini break - so thats keeping me motivated to ride.

Yesterday I took it one moment at a time a la Russel Brand.  Sugar Free and stayed on track...

Office at 6:30pm

Taking Ed and Sam to beach at 6:30am

MTB at 6:30 PM

6:30 PM

6:30 am

6:30am

AM

 Photo trick - how to get hazy iphone image - MTB with phone in pocket and get it all steamy... haha!

PM

PM

 

 
   

Reality check

After Thursdays  post - which was very very real...I took that walk on the beach and you know what? I felt better.  I made plans with my bestie to play hooky and go mountain biking that afternoon.

We got the heck out of here drove west for an hour an rode for 3 hours - laughing and whooping around the woods - 24 miles.. I slept like a baby that night.

I remember why I do this.

I got the lap band for a variety of reasons - number one was to get confidence - I am the lion in the wizard of oz.  Since the band - I became successful in business - 
Waking up and getting dressed was no longer terrifying
I felt proud of who I was
I put myself first

Lately I am back to having two outfit choices - no good.
This slapped me in the face last night when I got a last minute request to show houses that are in the 4-5Million dollar price range....panic - all my nice clothes are too tight - I'll be in jeans and feeling uncomfortable through the appointment...
A big reality check of why I did this....

Eating my stress will not fix my problems - only make them worse..
I'll get back on that horse today ...I mean Scale...and walk one step in front of the other  -

This article by Russel Brand is very relateable - just replace the words - heroin and alcohol with sugar and food....there is no easy way out...and however hard it is to accept - I am powerless over sugar and food and MUST be vigilant - Leigh at Poonapoolza knows whats up....

Thanks for all of your comments and encouragement....very few of us have a straight line direct to goal...I think that's rare - I still have a lot to learn on the journey.

Here goes..one foot in front of the other...one step forward..

Back to the reason why I had this surgery...So I could be confident and brave..

GAME ON

BIG BIRCH TRAIL

S'MAi

That walk on the beach