You know how I've been all mature, working out and thinking through my cravings and eating all clean?
Yesterday I was tested. And I flunked.
I woke up cranky - bad night sleep and so sore from TRX on Thursday.
On my way to work (which was going to be a crazy day) I had to put air in my tire. Some how I managed to lock myself out of the car with it running and my phone inside. PANIC. I don't know any phone #s off the top of my head - the only # I know is Mo - who was at work and would not be thrilled to have to go all the way home to get the spare key and bring it to me. I was in a total melt down. Luckily I was at a gas station with a garage and one of the guys broke into my car for me. But damn if the adrenalin wasn't off the charts... I was in a mood and all I wanted was to feel better - so instead of talking myself down and moving forward, I hit the deli hard - kitkat, cliff bar, chocolate covered cookies and sugar filled coffee drinks. Miss Lorie - tried to talk me off the ledge but there was no going back - I was pissed so why not take advantage of the mood and do 100% damage full on binge ~ lunch = PB cups and a sleeve of cookies. Dinner - grilled cheese and French Fries.
Am I done?
Yes.
I will not do it again ....at least today.
It was a tantrum equal to that of a 5 year old who doesn't get her way.
I know this.
Shit Happens.
I am still good.
Moving on ~ Today
Protein Shake
Smoked salmon
Going mountain biking for a few hours with my bestie.
I will pull it together
It just goes to show that with all the education and knowledge of how to live healthy - I am still a food addict. I use food like a drug. I don't do it daily anymore, but I slipped. I am sure It will happen again. I am still a good person who will keep going on a healthy path.
You are a great person! We are striving for imperfect progress, right? You are better this year than last, and the year before that. I totally relate and I am impressed with how you are facing it head on, girl!
ReplyDelete100% get it. I'm the same way. I have not had a binge in awhile, but if I get mad enough or really pushed off my schedule I can snap like a green bean.
ReplyDeletesometimes we have to fall to find out how far we have come. I'm pretty sure if in the same situation I would have fallen too but you picked yourself up and are getting back on track.
ReplyDeleteI've been there.... more than once! My Saturday didn't turn out very great either...
ReplyDeleteProgress - not perfection. At least you're limiting your binge to one day. I went three days. /hugs Hope your car is ok after the break in. I hope they didn't have to smash a window or break your lock somehow.
ReplyDeleteIt happens to ALL of us lady...you have acknowledged it, you know why it happened, and you are back on track. Period. This is what healthy people do!! Keep rockin' out...you are awesome!
ReplyDeleteI do it too and god help anyone trying to talk me down...... but you know what, we get back up and dust ourselves off. That is all we can do some days.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand where you are coming from, I hate it when something goes bad and your crazy upset adrenaline takes over and you self sabotage!
ReplyDeleteGlad that you pulled yourself out of it though.
xx
Understood. Awesome that you shared and were honest with yourself! We all slip. I for one can testify to that. On the road again! Great recovery!
ReplyDeleteFalling off the wagon is the easy bit! Getting up, dusting yourself off and getting back on the wagon the next day is the hard bit, and you've done that. Way to go!! One crazy day is not going to derail you, so don't beat yourself up. It's a journey, and there is no quick way there!
ReplyDeletebeen there...sometimes we just need a reminder..don't beat yourself up...learn from it and have a killer week!
ReplyDeleteNo one is perfect, we have all had those days (or years as it may go). Chalk it up to stress and move on. Everyday is a new chance.
ReplyDeleteYou slipped. You are not perfect. Get back up, dust yourself off and get that badass back onto a bike. Keep journaling and suck back that water. We have all done it and we will all get through it, one day at at time. One hour at a time, if need be.
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